Saturday, September 28, 2013

Hug me tonight

Can you hug me tonight...
Tonight... Hug me tight
But wait...
I don't want just a hug
I need that special one
The one that even hurts
Pick me up... off the ground
Make my feet sling in the air
Till I get cramps in my tummy
Spin me around... twist n turn
Squeeze me hard and so tight
Till I feel dozy and down
Kiss me gently on these lips
Leave me completely breathless
Hold me so close and so tight
That it leave butterflies in my stomach
Tickle me very mildly and softly
That leaves me full of giggling
I want that special hug tonight
Hug that is both wild and sweet

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Come in my dreams... Hold my hands

Come in my dreams
And hold my hands
Look into my eyes
And touch my soul
Hold my hands
and take me away
Take me away
With you somewhere
Create me a new world
World filled with beauty
Come in my dreams
In every dazzling night
Hold my hands
And take me away
Again to the new world
That you would create
World that would be ours
World where our love would blossom
Hold my hands
And take me away

All I seek for...

 
In the middle of this  insanity,
All I am seeking for is peace,
I don't desire for any luxury,
I do not yearn for any affluence,
All I crave for is serenity...
I don't have any longing for the huge cars,
I don't wish for owning any sort of mansions,
All I beg for is tranquility...
I have no hunger left to achieve any  ambition,
I don't aspire anymore to reach my destination,
All I want is to have a fruitful journey...
I don't wish to be a part of the chase,
I don't want to run across in search of my aim,
All I yearn for is just little time to spend with myself...
In the middle of all this scuttle,
All I am in quest of is silence,
Silence that can take me to the world of solace...


Somewhere far away




Somewhere far away in the sunshine, lies my dreams...
Somewhere hidden in my loneliness, lies my solace...
Sometimes being  all alone, with myself is all I need...
Sometimes watching the world, silently gives me peace...
Sometimes a little thought, is enough to drift me away...
Sometimes  dragging myself to oblivion, helps me seeing the hope's ray...
Sometimes drowning in your thoughts, is enough to keep me alive...
Sometimes going far away, from you is all that I desire...
Sometimes, Somewhere far away, in that sky is all I wish to go...
To shine like a bright star and, witnessing the world from the top...
Lying there in peace forever, drowning in the oasis of serenity and happiness... 


Monday, September 16, 2013

Want to...

Want to open my eyes to an endless view,
Want to meet the one, who resides beyond the blue sky,
Want to dance to the music of a fluttering butterfly,
Want to sing along with the sounds of those waves,
Want to wake up in the lap of an old tree,
Want to fly with the wedge in flight...

Sometimes...


Conjuring the devils

Got to watch The Conjuring last night and must say it is really one of the scariest movies I have ever seen!! Guess, scary is a word that is too tiny to be used to describe this movie. Its super frightening, terrifying!

The horror scenes not only haunts you at night but they doesn't even leave you in the daytime. Believe me... I like the way all the usual fears related to supernatural things, that almost everyone face have been used in the movie: like we all, I guess at times get scared of thinking that somebody is behind us, watching us and ready to grab us... Ooopppssss... and the fear that somebody is there under the bed is one thing that bothers everyone:) And the one that somebody might pull your leg while sleeping and all that... The way these typical fears have been demonstrated in this movie is just mind blowing:) Many scenes can give you  goosebumps. So, beware while watching this movie.

However, this post is really not about the movie review. Its about a thought that struck my mind when I got to know that its a true story. Well, that what the makers of this movie are claiming. Knowledge of this thing dragged me into the well of a very weird thought. If ghosts/spirits really do exist and they are so much powerful and so much capable of disturbing somebody's life to an extent that it completely becomes wretched and miserable, then why don't spirit of girls who gets raped come back and revenge their rapist! I wish... I so much wish this could happen and this could have been true... I just took this example here as these days stories of  this crime have become so regular. Rapes have become common and rapists: ubiquitous. Almost every day a case is revealed and its happening in every corner of the country! .. Sometimes, I wonder if a day will come when we all will become used to listening to these stories so much so that we will become immune to them and further cases will not make any difference to us.  Even the cycle of these cases are so well defined. A case happens, it becomes headlines, there is a hype and gradually, the case gets dumped into old files. There are exceptions where the rapists are seriously punished  and that too within a year as it happened recently in Nirbhaya case. But for such exceptions to happen, we need a case like nirbhaya to happen... The sacrifice of a poor girl's life is required in our country to pass quivers within the whole nation. Sad...

If spirits are really there, then why don't the spirits of these people come back and take their revenge from the culprits. Who can give more horrifying, actually justifying punishment to a culprit other than the victim itself. I wish... I wish... I so much wish it was true!!! Nobody could have ever dared to commit such horrendous crime against women.

Few days back, when Mumbai case happened, I got so much disturbed that I wrote few lines on how I feel being a daughter and how my parents would feel. Infact I have 2 sisters who daily travel to around 15 kms to college and they travel every weekend to our native town, I just cannot define the extent of panic that I go through till the time they are in travel. I keep on calling them to make sure they are fine. And just can't rest, till they reach their PG or home. I cannot even imagine what parents of young girls would go through daily when their daughters leave for schools, colleges, jobs... Its indescribable...

I am a daughter,
Daughter who became a burden to her dad,
Not because he can't afford to raise me,
But because he cannot save me,
Save me from the lustful eyes of strangers,
Save me from their cruel intentions,
Save me from those who are ready,
Ready to rip my soul apart,
Ready to slit my innocent heart...
I am a daughter,
Daughter to a dad,
Who feels completely helpless,
To save his little love,
From those merciless and evil devils,
Who are roving around everywhere,
In chance of getting someone to chase,
Chase and then to take her innocence away,
Who turn blind in their craving,
Craving to have a woman without her compliance...
I am a daughter,
A daughter to a mother,
Who is unable to sleep,
Who is unable to breath,
Who is unable to rest,
Who is unable to relax,
Till she takes me in her safe arms,
Till she gets assured that I am back,
A mother who goes through the same struggle every day,
In thinking about me: her little angel,
If I will be safe, going away from her...
Where is the end to this stress?
When will this struggle last?
When will my parents sleep serenely,
When will they live peacefully,
When will they be assured,
That their daughter will be safe,
Where ever she goes, even if its late,
Who is going to end this stress,
Stress that is killing every dad,
Who feels guilty for not able to protect their angels,
From the brutal intentions of the demons in disguise...

I pray a day comes, when we women will be able to roam around freely, as we wish, without any fears, any worries. I wish someday sisters like me do not have to worry about their siblings to reach home safely from college to their PGs, I wish someday all the parents would sleep without worrying about if their daughter is safe outside the premises of their homes...

I wish that day soon arrives...

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Its you... who fill colors in my life

There are those weird days,
When I feel sad and depressed,
When the only color visible to me is blue,
And you are the only one I look up to...
There are those strange days,
When I feel bored and gloomy,
When the only color I can see is black,
And you are the only one who can make everything exciting again...
There are those bizarre days,
When I just lose control over life,
When the only color I can see is grey,
Then you are the one who can bring me back on track...
Then there are those happy days,
When everything looks dazzling and bright,
When the only color visible is red,
And you are the only one I feel like sharing my happiness...
Then there are those brand new days,
When something new and thrilling happens,
When the only color visible is white,
You are the only one I feel like living those days with...
Then there are those beautiful days,
When all I see all around are smiles,
When the only color visible to me is yellow,
And you are the only one who can enhance that beam...
Its only you I can think of,
In sorrow or in happiness,
In grief or in pleasure,
In monotony or in excitement,
In misery or in bliss,
Its only you whom I can think of... in everything...
Its only you who fill colors in my boring life...

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Saturday, September 14, 2013

The first strand of greys

... And I almost got a heart attack this morning when I noticed those first strands of grey hair! Agree they are not the first ones but they are certainly the first prominent strands of grey hair, the sight of which almost took my breath away... Ouuucchhh... I looked at them and I just wanted to scream like those dramatic heroines in old movies "nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..." I remember Hema Malini doing that in some movie, while releasing her breath in a strange way! Anyways, back to my agony. So, I stood in front of the mirror, looking at my grey color strands and touching them with my finger tips... and touching them again and over again as if the grey color will get back to the color of youth by my touching! I so badly wish it could! I would have taken a day off from work and would have sat in front of the mirror and would have transformed all those strands with that stupid grey color back to black: the color of youth as I declared above! To my chagrin, there was no such option available! Alas, so I have to now start accepting that I am growing old!

I sat on the bed trapped by all sort of scorning feelings of frustration + disappointment +  irritation + depression + annoyance + distress + the thought that my life is finished + I have lost everything.  I felt as if my youth is ditching me. It was meant to stay forever. It was there to stay with me till my last breath! Or else, perhaps I myself deceived myself. How? Because in early 20s I never ever imagined of growing old. I never ever thought of entering into the phase of late 20s and then early 30s, then late 30s.. and I have to stop my counting here else I will again enter into the dungeon of all those stupid negative feelings!

So, I just sat there on the bed thinking about what next. My life is ending and blah blah blah (imagine one of those idiotic Ekta Kapoor's heroines doing some sort of a drama and articulating some brainless dialogue with no head and tail. Yes, I was behaving in the same way today morning! Wait a min, it means there is some logic and truth in those stupid senseless characters of Ekta kapoor! ohhhh... who cares for now!!!)

Anyways, sitting on the bed, drowned in the ocean of forbidden feelings, I called upon my savior. An inner voice of mine, that's what I call it: my savior. I don't know where it resides inside me. Which part of me, she has made her home in: my intestines, liver, kidneys, lungs, heart, legs, knees, elbow, hands?? Don't know. All I know is she (I think it's appropriate to consider your inner voice's sex same as yours)  stays somewhere within me! And dude, she is extremely sensible, rational and wise! She is the one who always save me from doing stupid things , console me,  makes me understand the different complexities of life, suggests me about right and wrong! I don't know from where she received all this prudent and wise intelligence! Not from me, off course!!! At times, I feel amazed at the fact that she is my inner voice! No offense to myself... but I am proud of the fact that I have a super intelligent inner voice! Really!!! Some people do not even have the brainless one. *sign sign*

Anyways, yes so I just closed my eyes for few moments and called upon my inner self to calm me down, to snatch away and throw all these stupid disappointing feelings out of me into some gutter and there she was: my rescuer. The best part of taking a guidance from your inner self is you don't have to explain anything, no need of drama and no need of any hues and cry. She exactly knows what you are going through.

And this time, all I could hear was a simple logic from her which probably I had been grown up listening to: The only thing constant in the world is change! Yes, everything changes, every damn thing. So, how come the youth will remain the same even that has to change so what's the big deal.

Its just a phase I was going through!

Terry Pratchett was so right when he said:
“...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.”

And then suddenly I felt better, felt light, relieved and nice! Yes, no burden of growing old, no tension of grey hair: nothing! And then the devil takes the entry: my mind: the horrible creature to mock at me of becoming so restless by just seeing few grey strands! But I know this time my mind was right, I myself had given a chance to it to laugh at me! I became so reckless at that time when I saw those few strands of grey hair, I couldn't even hear my heart that was screaming from somewhere, left side of me: "Stop bothering. Those grey strands are the souvenir of experience. Chill and smile! Accept them gracefully..."... But I couldn't hear its voice in middle of the noise of my own troubles and howls (not the real ones!!!) Poor heart, it would have got a sour throat today by screaming so much!

But then what made me so disturbed? The fact that I am growing old? or I will not be looking good anymore? What is it? I felt embarrassed of my thoughts! Why do we women always live under this heavy burden of looking beautiful, looking good, looking young???

Anyways, probably that's not my mistake. It's the mistake of how our society takes and considers beauty as!  Those stupid beauty products and their ads have actually changed the definition of beauty these days! According to those stupid fair and lovely ads, those santoor ads, those anti ageing ads of ponds and lakme, those hair color products ads beauty is all about flawless and FAIR skin, it's all about looking young! If you consider what these ads shows right, then old people just have no right to believe that they are beautiful because your wrinkles, your grey hair doesn't give you that luxury to afford!!!

That hair color ad, where Karishma Kapoor asks "do you know why I use hair color?"... She states few reasons, one of which is "off course to look young"... and that ad of santoor where a lady is shown with a baby gal (I wonder why santoor ads has never ever taken a baby boy... Don't they deserve young beautiful moms! Poor guys), where she shouts "mummmmyyyyyy..." and everybody around is astonished and surprised to know that it's her own baby! The OMG moment and I will not even take the pain of describing those brainless, senseless, irritating fair and lovely ads where just by getting a fair skin, a lady is shown winning some race, becoming an anchor, becoming a commentator and becoming a astronaut <ok! this was my imagination> But don't you get surprised if fair & lovely even launches the astronaut ad. The model in the ad will be rejected while she is dark and will be selected as an astronaut after becoming fair because probably, aliens love fair skin people - opppsss girls! and tada tada tada... What is the connotation of these professions with fair skin? Even fair & lovely's owner will not be able to explain! I can bet. God knows what all successful careers and professions, fair & lovely will grant to all those poor dark girls (these ads represents them this way only, in a sympathetic way!), by just making them fair!!!! Gosh!!! Why don't our Govt ban these ads...

Yeah, so we as a society have really forgotten the real meaning of beauty. The definition these days only revolves around looking young, looking fair, having flawless skin, black hair and that's it. Is it the real beauty? Do only the outer looks define real beauty? I don't think so! Beauty: that's a very intense and a powerful word: it includes everything! Its a whole package: of looking beautiful (the way you carry yourself and not the looks and all that crap), your attitude, your conduct, your manners, your way of seeing the world, your approach of looking at yourself... and yes, age has nothing to do with it. Look at the timeless beauty like Rekha, Sharmila Tagore, Vahida Rehman (she is myu fav!) and Meryl Streep! These women are just ageless beauties... They got old so gracefully. They embraced their age so beautifully and so, they are still charming and heart throbbing!

Without all the attributes, real beauty can never be perfectly and completely defined by just the looks, never!

Anyways, for now, I have decided to age gracefully and happily:) No regrets, no tensions, no stress
I will follow what my heart said during the morning phase of trauma, "Age is just one of the souvenirs of experience." In fact, Ageing is also referred to as ‘Blues’ and ‘Blue’ is a color, strangely made out of two highly controversial and extreme mixes – the color of a deep sea and the color of the highest sky… So, yes, truly, number of years in age can also be defined as a measurement of the depth and height of your experience with life!

So, chill, smile and age gracefully :D And growing age doesn't mean you also have to grow up:D. I am gonna  live on my old mantra again (which Baba Bryan Adams gave to everyone), 18 till I die!!!

Even Carroll Bryant said:
“Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.”

Friday, September 13, 2013

I sin to find peace

Steeped in despair,
Swathed in anxiety,
Draped in anguish,
I sin to find peace somewhere...
Mired in morbidity,
Adorned in dejection,
Wrapped in sadness,
I sin to find peace at some place...
I sin...
To clear these clouds of grief,
To take me to the river of bliss,
I sin...
To snatch away all my squeamishness,
To fill my soul with boldness,
I sin...
To whip away all my weaknesses irreversibly,
To make my inner self audacious irrevocably,
I sin...
I do sin to find peace somewhere...
That will make me strong and sturdy,
To stand against this world,
And to face them boldly...

I set my wings on fire

I set my wings on fire; When darkness takes over this earth,
I set my wings on fire; When all the doors gets closed,
I set my wings on fire; When everything is encircled by dire strait,
I set my wings on fire; When life looks empty and bare,
I set my wings on fire; When my heart gets ached,
I do set my wings on fire; to fly me away,
Away somewhere from this despair,
Away to some far off place,
To fairies and angel's palace,
To the lands of love,
To the planet of care,
Somewhere far off,
To a distant place,
Away from all the pain and misery,
To a place where love is in the air,a
And happiness resides in its every corner...

I just wanna be the girl...

Wrote this one for my husband whom I love more than anything and who means everything to me:

I hurt him, I give him pain but all I know is I can't live without him and nothing matters to me in this world more than him...

He is the one who makes me feel special, who makes me feel out of this world by every single touch, whose smile can make me forget all the stress, whose words can take me to another amazing world, whose one look is enough to take away my breath, whose one smile can lift my feet off the ground, whose happiness is more than enough to spin me around, whose love is just enough to drive me crazy:

I just wanna be the girl you talk about,
The only one you couldn’t live without,
The one about whom you say to this world
She’s my baby, she's my girl...
I just wanna be the girl you think about,
The one that takes your breath away,
The one with whom you want to spend
all your nights and all your days...
I just wanna be the girl you care about,
The only one with whom you share your joy and your pain,
The one that would reside in your heart
forever and for always...
I just wanna be the girl that makes you happy,
The one that makes your heart beat fast,
The one that brings a smile on your face
and ecstasy to your heart...
I just wanna be your girl,
I just wanna be your mate,
I just wanna be your soul,
I just wanna be everything you care for...
I just wanna be loved...
I just wanna be loved...
Loved forever and for always...

Sunday, September 8, 2013

I go round and round

Juggling my dreams in the sky,
Spinning my happiness around,
Lifting my feet above the ground,
I go round and round till my breath last..
Playing hide and seek with the clouds,
Talking incessantly with the glittering stars,
Sharing all I have with the shining moon,
I fly high and high till my wings are all worn out...
Fluttering along with those b'ful butterflies,
Laughing my heart out with those flowers,
Gossiping with those chirping birds,
I smile and smile till everything gets brighten up...
These are my friends,
They are ones for whom I care,
They are the ones who make me smile,
They are the ones who really care for what I love,
They are the ones who can take me to miles...