Monday, December 8, 2014

Dear Male Chauvinists...

“So tell me gentleman, tell me the time and place where it was easy to be a woman.” 
                                                                                            ― Andrew Sean GreerThe Impossible Lives of Greta Wells

The world is changing with a high pace. Its moving towards being much modern, contemporary, liberal and a tougher much better place to survive live. But then, so much said and so much written, the question is are we, as well moving with the world? Are we able to give an equal pace to our thinking as well? Are we able to match up with the speed of the changing world?

I guess no!

This comparison may be applicable to many things. But then, I only have one thing in my head for now and I have no intention to digress from it. And that one thing is: Have we been able to accept women being a equal part of men's world? Have we? Oh yes! Its an old topic. Discussed again and again... Rotten... Boring... Monotonous... Wait! Are you yawning? Just by listening to the words "equal" and "women" again, yet again.

But the truth is what so ever we do, how so ever decayed and decomposed this topic gets, we cannot turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to it! Atleast, we women can't. Because, we have to face this weird, unpleasant and awkward moment in our lives many times, that force us to realize that Oh well, we are women and we are not made for suppose to be doing certain things!

I am sure every woman: women in business, working women, women entrepreneurs, housewives, yes, almost all women, at one or the other point of time have to encounter this orthodox thinking. And being a woman, I feel it, I see it and I am forced to accept it at times. I am not generalizing anything, because I am fortunate enough to be friends with many men who respect a woman's freedom and independence of choosing the way they want to live, but then I can't deny the fact that I even know men, who gives a stare to any woman who works, who tries to cross the perimeter that a woman is supposed to confined to.

No, I am not trying to play the role of a poor woman. Definitely not! Just want to give a small message to all those, who still have a male chauvinist hidden somewhere inside them.

Yes, I am a woman! and I am proud of that...
Yes, I am a woman and I do have a brain of my own... And I use it... Rather I love using it...
I do cry at small things but it certainly does not mean that I am weak, I am not Sir!
I do feel tired at times, but it certainly does not infer that I am frail. Oh well, I am not...
At times, I might even give an impression that I have surrendered, but thats just because I do care for others' feelings, more than my well- being. You see its imbibed in us by nature
I might choose to be silent at times, but that does not mean I am dumb!
I might act and think irrational at times, but that does not mean I lack practical wisdom
I might need your support sometimes, but that does not make me helpless
I might sound too emotional at times, but that does not imply that I cant be assertive
I might not look strong at times, but that does not mean I am scared of anything

God has granted us: women with immense amount of strengths, but the problem is these strengths are considered to be our weaknesses!

P.S: The bigger problem is we are hard wired with too many strengths...
PS.S Far too many strengths!

Keep smiling and just, chill and enjoy being a woman:) 

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Leaders are to be followed and Managers.... lets think!!!

"People ask the difference between a leader and a boss. The leader leads, and the boss drives." Theodore Roosevelt
Have just recently finished my MBA. No, I am offcourse not writing this post to brag about it. This post is regarding a thing that I have been thinking since I have enrolled for this course.
In every semester, there have been atleast one subject which spoke about "Leaders and managers". There is so much being said and taught about them, glorifying the leaders and criticizing managers. But then, honestly how many leaders, I mean "real" leaders do we find around? Very rare... Right? Why? Even after teaching so much about the importance of being a leader and not just task masters aka managers, why do we still have dearth of leaders? Sitting in the classroom, we all aspire to become leaders. Infact many of us, being compelled by enthusiasm, even promise yourselves to become a leader. And the moment we become slaves of corporate, we forget all that, all those promises, all those teachings, all those lessons, we forget everything and just shove ourselves into the grind and become like everyone else: an insensitive machine of
torturing managing people. Guess, its this highly spreading desperation of rising high without much efforts, without waiting! Guess, the extinction of leaders is to be blamed on the dirty competition and politics thats spreading across like a giant, in every organization. Guess, its is our cravings for higher living standards. Guess, its our swelling materialistic desires. Guess, it is our dying conscience.
Anyways, let me put down the most common qualities of a leader here. A leader is honest, confident, motivating, calm and composed in every situation and most important one, a leader believes in sharing the credit with their team and also, have the guts of taking the blame of their failure on themselves. Now, just mull over your brain to think about people around you who imbibe these qualities?
But the best part is corporate world is not all that bad. It is not just surviving, it is growing with leaps and bounds. Thanks to few leaders that we have and thanks to them for not giving up their principles and learnings, by getting influenced with cheap desires. In my 8 years of career, I have been really fortunate to meet few of such leaders. You know what is that one thing that is common in all of them. They all just carry an aura around them: of intelligence, of positivity, of comfort, of this amazing attitude. The best part about leaders is that they take their people along with them, they don't leave them behind. They mentor them, guide them and just feel proud of seeing them growing in their respective careers. Yes, these are the signs of true leaders. And BTW, such people are just not found in books. They are there in real and I am so glad, I know few of them.
Do you know one? If not, search for one... if Yes, then stick to them , shadow them and learn as much as possible from them
"It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership." - Nelson Mandela
P.S. Leaders are to be followed and managers are to be ignored!
P.S.S. These are completely my views and are not meant to hurt anyone

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Be mine!

Hold my hand, let me make you feel what I feel
Come, come in my arms, let me hide you in my heart
Look into my eyes, let me show you what lies deep in them
Touch me, let me reveal whats hiding beneath this smile
Walk with me,  let me take you to my world
Make me yours, let me share a part of my soul with you
Leave the meaningless part of your life, be mine...

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

The normal regular days

I am back with a guilt of not penning down anything since so many days!

Anyways, what bought me here today was a realization. A very basic one though, but important enough. And the realization is that what we consider as normal and regular can actually be special. Now, let me be specific by contracting the vague horizon of this word "normal". Lets take an example of the 'normal days' that we so deliberately take for granted. At times, we do not understand the value of having a regular day. In fact we feel irritated because nothing special happened on that particular day: no rendezvous with friends, no party, no movie, no date etc etc.  What we don't realize is that even those "normal" days that we disregard and do not value, are indeed 'special' days! It takes an incident to make us realize that and start respecting these same "normal" days.

Ok then, let me continue this through an incident that opened my eyes to this realization, that was almost like achieving Moksha. <pun intended> While returning back from office today, I was in the same irritated mode of cursing my friends for not meeting me in the evening, and making my day boring! Even the office was filled with 'regular' work. Nothing exciting happened and the day was about to get over on a very 'normal' node, yet again, which generally I don't prefer. And so, I was completely annoyed and was lost in my own world.

And while dwelling in my thought, I realized and noticed that the bus in front of me had suddenly braked, wrenching me back to reality, my feet went on to the brakes but too late! and boom!!! There was a loud smashing sound and after few secs, I realized what I have done. I, obviously was so furious, screamed and shouted at the driver but then like any other bus driver, he did not bother and I realized it was just waste to talk to him. And I came back to the car, furious, fuming, ranting and ready to kill someone.

Went directly to the mechanic from there, and got an estimation of the huge expense that was about to come on my head and was about to make a hole in my pocket.

Leaving the car there, I took a rick and came back home. And then, something inside me asked, "Got the excitement you were craving for? Right? Now happy?" and I was filled with guilt. I hate this inner voice of me, that is always looking out for a chance to make me feel guilty! I completely lack this quality of killing a person with sarcasm. BTW, I strive and crave for it and whenever I try, I suck. literally! I can give a live eg. Scroll up and go to the sentence, where I mentioned "Pun intended"! You will understand what I meant. But my inner voice, is a champion of sarcasm man! I have no clue from where it procured this quality and from where these dialogue come <Jealous>

Anyways, the same annoying voice again screamed from inside, "Excitement can not always be fun!" And actually, I could see the other side.

Moral of the story: we take these regular, normal days  for granted. Actually they are special and we should be thankful for being a day "normal" for at least not having to bear with anything negative on that day. Its a blessing to have a normal day, filled with may be regular and boring stuff, but at least not with something that may give you pain or may hurt you.

Respect and love the normal part of life as well, in the same way as you love the exciting and fun part of it. Because there is something below the normal as well, which I am sure you would not love to deal with!

P.S. Too many 'realizations' in the above note! I just realized, after writing. Oops! and I did it again....

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The superficial and illusionary social media world

Me and a friend of mine were having a very out of the ordinary chat today. She was telling me some very interesting stats about her friends. She told me that 90% of the male friends of her husband are really tired, stressed out and completely frustrated. No, not because of work load but because of the unnecessary pressure at home! Confused... Right? Same was my reaction.

But then I am amazed the way wives have started torturing their husbands. And you will be amazed too, when I tell you for what. Let me tell you in the exact way as the wives torment their husbands with stupid and insane complains, like:

"My cousin goes to vacation every alternate month!"
"My friend's husband gifted her a solitaire on Anniversary. And you gave me a diamond one!"
"They got a new Volvo!!! And we still own an old Honda City"
"They went to New Zealand for their honeymoon. Even I want to go there"
"They go pubbing every other day and we, we are always at home!"
"I do not want to holiday in India. It has to be abroad. Even my friends take only abroad vacations"
"My friend is out pubbing on a Friday night and what am I doing? Cooking for you... what a life!"
"You never post our pics together. Look at her husband, how much he loves her. His profile pic is always with his wife"
"You never click my pictures! Look at her pics, they are so awesome"

And this list is never-ending. The problem here is, we women just see something posted by others on social sites and goes to the extent of believing it to be their 'only' life.

We see are the "happy" and lovey-dovey posts and start comparing our lives with them and obviously, that leads to pointless inferiority complex which eventually either turns into depression or we start torturing our husbands to provide the same kind of happiness, which almost have no existence. Why do I say that?

Let me explain. Those pics you see, those posts you see are just few moments of a person's life. Obviously nobody posts the 'sad' parts of their lives (some fools do that as well, though). And what do you do? You compare your 24*7 with those few moments!!! Obviously, those few 'happy' moments will look more luring.

Another issue is, these days all that we want to do, all that we want to possess is not for 'ourselves', but for showing off, for making others envious! We don't want to go on a vacation, to spend time with our families. No! It is so that we can show others that we are enjoying our lives, by holidaying at exotic places.

We are not happy with a small diamond ring, but a solitaire is what we want. Why? So that we can happily and proudly brag about it on our Social networks

It doesn't matter if we are "really" happy with our husbands or not, but then there have to be awesome pictures of a "happy" couple that can be portrayed on our walls

Why? Why are we turning into superficial beings?

That 'real' thing is getting eliminated from our lives. The things that our moms had, doing so much for the family, sacrificing herself, her each and every happiness for her kids and never ever complaining about it.

BTW, I have a point to make here. People who have something missing in their lives are the ones, who tries to show that 'missing' part,  going out of board! Believe me...  Its human tendency to hide the 'sad' things with the illusionary 'good' and 'happy' things

I remember an incident. When my sister finished her Post Graduation recently, and she was sitting at home idle, jobless. My dad used to tell others (even if not asked why) that, she is preparing for her bank exams. He would give such a happy face to the whole situation. This is what we all do! We do not want to show the 'bad' or 'sad' part of our lives to anyone. Infact, we, very conveniently present  the despairing things, dressed in expensive branded fashionable attire of happiness. This is what is happening all over, on all the social media sites these days!!!

Its not social media platforms to be blamed for this, its us: the fools, who do not know how to extract the best and positive things out of something, rather we rot the system to the extent, that starts damaging us!

Come on guys, just by seeing few 'happy' moments from other's life, do not start torturing yourself and your family. You have no idea how many problem those guys would be going through, how many depressing things they would be facing in their daily life! Don't just see what is shown, see whats beyond and at least, whatever you see, do not allow it to effect your happiness, your life. Do not let anything so superficial create a havoc and cause conflict in your relationships. Respect your relations, they are much more meaningful that these meaningless things!

Else, one day you will realize that these superficial materialistic things for which you sacrificed your happy moments were just not worth it, but that would be too late then. All you would be left with is "Regret!!!!"

Keep smiling:)

Friday, July 18, 2014

Rumi Quotes! Just love them

How do they write such amazing words with so much depth, so much intensity!!!!

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Kill those bacterias causing hypocrisy in you!

 “Hypocrisy annoys me, people need to look into mirrors. Let me hold a mirror in front of your face.”
― C. JoyBell C.

I never wanted to write this post because of many reasons. Well you already know what I'm going to talk about! Still, let me elaborate a bit. I am just and just getting so irritated and annoying with the hypocrisies of people these days!! Its kind of becoming unbearable for me.Worst is when people belonging to these species sit next to you and brag about something, which you know is completely wrong and damn, you cant say anything! Thanks to the courtesy genes imbibed in us, from childhood.

Now, why I did not wanted to write this post. Well, while writing this post I will have to give examples of my acquaintances, people who are around me all the time, and by chance, if they get across this post, they might get a heart attack. Because certainly, I am just not going to keep even a inch of courtesy here. And they would surely recognize that it has been written for them! But then, I decided to write about it, because there are hardly any of my friends visiting my blogs. They, probably are not even aware of it :(

Anyways, yeah so today I witnessed the heights of hypocrisy! There is this friend of mine. Only just me, everyone knows that she applies dozens and dozens of make-up (its visible!!!), every week she has appointments in the parlor (we have the same parlor) and today, suddenly I saw a post on her FB wall, 'I don't use foundation, I even don't care to put sunscreen, I dont care about getting tanned. I love myself like this, I never had a stylish hair cut and blah blah blah...' God!!! How I controlled myself from commenting there, only I am aware of! Its not a crime to put make-up... Or its not that, that women who put make-up are 'bad' or something... I mean why??? Why and where was the need of these stupid statements? Where is 'greatness' in showing that you dont apply make-up? Oh ok, you want to say that you have natural beauty! Ok, done... agree:)

Lets move on to next sample, another friend of mine. She keeps on bragging in front of all, 'I hate white skin, it looks so pale, the spots are so easily visible and all that crap!' I went to her place one day for some work and guess what I saw there? The iconic, must-be-banned cream "Fair and lovely"... And I wanted to bash her there itself but then, I have already thanked my courtesy genes which I will do again here! I mean, for God sake! Its awesome to have a wheatish complexion. Most beautiful women in the world are wheatish: Hally Berry, Bipasha Basu and the goddess of beauty Chitrangangna herself! Be proud of your color, just don't give useless excuses. Don't criticize other's skin color just to make yourself feel better! It shows your insecurity!

Lets jump to the next example. This one is just mind-blowing! She cribs in front of her friends, 'Oh! I am fed of this xyz guy. he is just behind me! Plz save me somehow from him. I hate to see his face' and after, 2 days there is a picture on FB, hugging him (well, almost!) with the tags "Best friends". Now, do I have any damn thing left to say here? No! All I can say is, its visible and people notice these kind of hypocrisies!

Time for the next one. She doesn't know ABC of football or cricket, I know that because I know her too well! But then, there will updates on her FB wall, after every match... "Well done Germany!" "India needs to play well" and many others, almost after every match... Guys, its ok not to have any interest in sports! Its really not a mandatory thing. But in an urge to prove yourself to be cool, you actually make fool out of yourself, in front of all! People can really figure out the difference between fake and genuine posts!

Few more, let me just brief them up now:

"I hate watching Bollywood movies! They are full of crap! I just love English movies!" Well, Ok! Eyes drooling
"I don't listen to hindi music, I love listening to English music only!" Well, who's your fav singer, 'Justin Bieber' Really???
"I just like going around with C-Class executives!" Yes guys, believe me!!! I have hard this as well! And you can imagine the amount of control that I needed to stop from killing her.
"I loveeee you and miss you!", a post on FB says with a very sweet couple hugging! She got shifted to Delhi and poor husband is in Mumbai. When she goes to Mumbai, instead of being with Mr. Husband, she is partying every single night with her friends. How come I know?? Thanks to FB and Instagram and yes, thanks to people's stupidity when they think that "Partying is the ONLY cool way to spend your weekends!"
Poor hubby! And he is just happy with 'I miss you!"

Well, there are many other stories! But these are the kinds of hypocrites I deal with every single day and how much I hate it, only I know. Probably, I just hate it when people lie. I hate it when people kind of put a mask to hide their real self. Its a sign of weakness guys. Really!

Be yourself, love yourself. And believe me, you will have no need to brag anything because you will find your real self so beautiful! :)

Keep smiling always:)

Monday, July 14, 2014

A small town girl

Somewhere around Feb, 2005

She thought to give it a try again next morning, to convince her dad to let her pursue her dreams. Though, she knew the answer beforehand, but she was determined to give it a try till the last moment.

She was born and bought up in a very small town of UP, called Saharanpur. Perhaps many of you wouldn't even have heard the name of it. It was a place which, like any other small town, was cut off from the modern world, where people still believed in girls being a burden on the family, where girls had no right to demand for a higher education, where girl's role was strictly restricted to being a house maker, where girls were just given basic education in desire of getting  a good match for them, where girls had no individuality, no independence, no say!

Yes, she was born and bought up in that suffocating environment. But no one knew from where and when she developed those wings, that crave to fly, that urge for freedom and independence. After doing her Bachelor of Arts from a local college, she decided to pursue MBA. Perhaps, she got inspired from one of her cousins, who went to Pune to pursue his MBA. He told her about the kind of environment which is there in his university, the kind of studies, the kind of subjects, the kind of smart people who are around you! Since then, she decided not to pursue her education from local college. Even she started dreaming oabout doing an MBA, and that too from a premier college! Everybody made fun of her! Everybody, around her laughed on her insane dream. People said, you will get married in next one year, and would probably be sitting in some village and making rotis for your huge family. Everybody teased her and tried to pull her down. But she was adamant this time. For whole of her life, she had listened to her parents and done whatever they wanted her to do but this time, she will give a try to get out of these pre-set norms!

She bought few books from her pocket money to prepare for CAT and MAT. She even managed to give these exams with the help of her few friends and an amazing cousin. She even got to get good percentile in them, which was outstanding for self-preparation and that too without any guidance. But once she started getting the interview call letters, her family started getting furious. They made it very clear to her that they wouldn't be sending her anywhere for pursuing higher education. She was, certainly devastated but she dint leave the hope. And for the sake of same hope, she decided to talk to her dad on this, yet again.

With all the courage, she went to her dad next morning and said, "Dad, you know that I did not take any formal coaching for the preparation of MBA, I still managed to get calls from top colleges. Please let me go, atleast to give an interview."

The answer, though repeated and so, predictable came like a thunderstorm, "NO! I have already told you thousands times, I cannot afford to send you outside for any higher education. Now, my only aim for you is to get you married!"

And he walked off! And she, she crushed on the floor, with her dreams crushing in front of her.
She abstained eating food for 3 days, in hope that her parents would feel sympathy and would atleast think about talking to her, but they dint.

Finally, she gave up, took admission for post graduation in literature from the same local college. She started going to college. She started taking classes, she tried to forget everything, she tried to mingle with her friends there but something was constantly killing her from inside. She was just unable to destroy that passion of hers which was constantly pushing her for something higher. She knew, she was not made for this! And then, finally after one week, with lot of courage, she took the decision! Next day, she took 500 Rs from her mom, in awe of buying some course books, packed her basic stuff in her college bag. And directly went to the bus stand, bought a ticket to Delhi and boarded the bus, only to never look back! Not to mention, she was damn scared!

She reached Delhi, which was her first experience of stepping out of her native place. Her aunt (her dad's sister) had a flat in Delhi. She used to live in Dubai but occasionally she used to come to India and stay in her flat. And luckily, her aunt and her cousin had been in India those days, so she called them up. Initially they were reluctant to help her out when they came to know that she came without informing her parents but then, they bought her home, when she refused to go back and warned them to go somewhere by herself.
She called her dad, in the evening, which was obviously not a great experience. He shouted and screamed and demanded her to come back the very next day.

But she, somehow managed to make up a story in front of her mom that she needed a break so she came to Delhi and she would be back in a week. As she was staying with her aunt, her parents agreed for a week.
Now, she had one week. One week, in which she had to find out some or the other way to get to her dreams or else, she will have to go back to the same place again, and perhaps she would never get a chance to get out of that place then... ever.

She started reading newspapers, started speaking to her cousin's friends in hope of getting a way. But everybody said the same thing, to return back. Eventually, she started getting disappointed, when one day she saw an ad in a newspaper, of one of the media institutes called Pratyaksh, which was owned by one of the prominent media personality, Mr Manoj Raghuvanshi . The entrance were happening for getting enrolled into the same. She decided to give it a shot. Here, her cousin supported her completely and took her to that institute next morning. She cleared the entrance, She was even selected in the audition by Mr. Raghuvanshi, who got really impressed by her audacity and that raw zeal and passion. She took admission in one of courses of electronic media reporting. She was even given an exemption in the fees and also, she could pay the rest of the amount whenever she wanted.

Now, she had  a full fledged dream, that she wanted to fulfill. She was, obviously full of ecstasy until her cousin reminded her of her parents. What would she tell her parents? They would never agree to this.
She decided to hide it from that. Her dad always had this dream of having one of his children as IAS officers. She took it as an opportunity and  told her parents that she wanted to prepare for IAS, and Delhi is the best place for that. Her parents agreed finally after lot of convincing from her and her cousin. Now, she had everything she ever yearned for, an opportunity to prove herself. But she forgot it was momentary.

She did not tell her parents for the next one year. They thought she was preparing for IAS, but she was, busy with her media life. She had already finished two courses and obviously, after seeing her determination, Mr. Raghuvanshi gave her an internship in his own production house. He even started mentoring her throughly. She did all the hard work that was required to build her career. She knew she had no time, so she had put all her energies into learning and working hard! Many times, she had no money for dinners, which never bothered her. She even used to walk  from Mayur Vihar, Delhi to Noida, just to save 10 buck of the bus! She could have asked for money from her parents but she never wanted to burden them too much for her own selfish motives.

There were days, when she just used to have water for dinner and yet, used to be happy. There were days when she used to work continuously for 2 days, and used to take little naps in office only. This all sounds so exaggerated but, I wish I could somehow put her intensity and passion here in words, which is so clearly visible in  her eyes even today after almost 10 years of the incident!

Anyways, then came one day, when her mom called her and asked her when was her course finishing as it has already been an year and with that call, came another alarm of making a decision.

But, now she was used to taking bold decisions and so, she decided to write a letter to her dad, in which she mentioned about everything that she faced since childhood, the discrimination, that insult and every damn thing and also, mentioned about the truth of her media course. The letter ended upto 8 pages! And finally, she posted it without thinking twice! And now, she started waiting for her dad's call anxiously. But the call dint come. After around two days, her house bell rang in the morning. She opened the door and before she could realize something, there was a thunderous slap on her face! She couldn't breath for a moment and took few seconds to look into the eyes of her dad, which were filled with rage and anger. Her dad only said, "pack your bags!"

She did packed her bags, but not completely. Because she was determined to come back... Come back and accomplish what she dreamed for... come back and complete her journey. She was determined not to leave it there: unfinished and incomplete!

She went back to Saharanpur and waited to 2 days, for her dad to call her and talk to her but he dint. She was unable to breath, she was dying to go back to the world of her dreams.
3rd day, or rather night, when she was unable to sleep and getting desperate to get into 4 AM's train to Delhi, she went to her dad's room at around 2.30 AM, held his feet and just said, "Please let me go! I am not made for here! I am not made to be kept captured! I will die... I will die! This is not my life. I beg you for my life." And tears started rolling down her cheeks

Her dad, looking at her, speechlessly, mesmerized by her passion, her zeal to achieve something, unbelievably, just said, "Pack your bags!"

And there she was, like a bird, with new wings, flying high in the air, ready to conquer the world, went back to her valley of dreams.

She, the woman, the mardaani I am talking about is me! I have no idea what gave me that courage to leave my home! I used get shit scared of my dad, but when it came to my dreams, I just got some strength from somewhere! Even today, I wonder what made me so brave, just not only to stand for but also, to fight for my rights, with the conventional and orthodox society that I was living in, or rather was just breathing in! It was not easy! Believe me! I had to fight all, including my parents, relatives, neighbours, cousins, all! Everybody was adamant to pull me down. But I thank God for granting me that invisible strength that time!Only one thing kept me moving, if boys have a right to choose their own life, why not we: girls?

Today, I have everything I ever aspired for: an amazing job, an amazing husband and an amazing life! Thanks to those instincts of mine that made me take that bold step in life. Otherwise, I would have got married there itself somewhere and would have been living a life, that no woman wants to lead: a life of no individuality! Many of my cousins and friends have already got trapped into it.

And the most touching part of the story is, today I am a proud daughter of a proud dad! My dad, today says to everyone, "I have no contribution in my girl's success. Its her own!"

After that, I tried my best to change the life of my sisters, my cousins and all the girls whom I could help.Even today,  I make sure to help these girls, by talking to their parents, explaining them the importance of good education, telling them how necessary it is for a girl to stand on her feet and be independent and its only them who can provide them with that immense support that they need. I just ask them to become the pillars of their daughter's life, instead of becoming obstacles!

Its my dream to give courage to all the girls I know, who are still trapped in that society, to break the conservative perception of their families,of people around them and make their own life. All I tell them is, "If I can do it, even you can!" I want to see all those girls, independent and confident:)

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Love being a girl

Its just so amusing with a fragment of annoyance, when girls make fun of the 'girly' stuff that 'other' girls do!
 I am sure you would have often heard the below cliches from almost all of your girlfriends (now, be honest!)

"I am just not so girly"
"I am so different!"
"I don't have any qualities of being a girl"
"I am more of boyish kinds"
"I hate when girls bitch around"
" I just like to hang around with boys"
"I don't like doing makeup like girls"
"I hate girls who do make up"

In fact, I have literally seen girls imitating the 'girly' characteristics. For them, everything that a 'normal' girl does is a drama and exaggeration. Walking, talking, screaming, shouting, dancing,  and literally, almost everything done in a 'girly' way is a matter of amusement for them!

Why? Why are we, being girls, are so humiliated of these traits which are hard-wired into us by God! Why are we  so much embarrassed of possessing "girl's" traits! Why do we feel so uncomfortable in accepting the fact that yes, we have 'girly' qualities and we behave in 'girly' ways! Why to feel mortified in using the words like "ouch" "uff" "OMG!"! Do it...

I mean, we are biologically girls then obviously, we are supposed to behave like a girl and we should be proud of that fact but instead, most of us make fun of this thing, deny to possess and own these aspects and characteristics of being a girl, we, in fact slur these qualities.

There are many other amazing qualities that girls possess. Few adjectives that immediately run down to your mind when you think about this word called girl are Beauty, Love, Balanced, Sincerity, conviction, passion, emotional, courageous! When we do not shy away in accepting those, then why do we make such a hullabaloo in accepting the other qualities?

You say, girls of full of drama, when they scream, shout or say "ouch"? I say, you are full of drama, with ample of superficiality, who disguise their 'girly' qualities in an aspiration of being considered as cool. You say, girls are stupid and dumb? I say, you are dumb, because you  are the one, who droops in between the fact of being a girl and the fact that you do not want to have 'girly' traits.

And then we, girls feel bad when boys make fun of us! When we cant respect ourselves, why would boys do? When we are the ones, who insults the fact of being a girl, why would boys not insult us? When we are the ones, who cant feel good about our 'girly' qualities, why would boys feel good about it? When we are the one, who describes 'being a girl' as being dumb, why wouldn't boys label us as dumb?

Anyways, all I can say is its a beautiful feeling of being a girl, its absolutely stunning to behave like a girl. Do it, and you will fall in love with yourself. Be proud of being a girl, rather than being embarrassed about it...

Keep Smiling always:)

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Rumi: Quotes

Few words just get into your soul and make their home somewhere deep inside your heart!

I am so much inspired and in love with Rumi's quotes! The words are just so full of intensity. 

Below quote is the one I fell in love, the moment I came across it: 

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Bitching... Lay it to rest!

“How would your life be different if…You walked away from gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day…You speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.”

― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Was having a chai-time discussion with a bunch of friends few days back. When suddenly the whole topic got diverted towards a girl, who used to be our colleague long back.

Eventually all of us started talking about her. emmm... Ok, we started gossiping about her! Ok fine people!!! Relax! I admit, we started bitching about her!!! Grrr... I hate this word so much... But then, everyone gets caught into this 'bitchy' word's trap some or the other time! You cant escape. Phewww...

Anyways, getting back to the gossiping bitching about that colleague, initially the discussion went on in a very healthy way. We all were enjoying till it got diverted and took a turn towards seriousness! We started discussing about what all nonsense she did and how much others got affected by her. The discussion started becoming grave and emotional with every passing comment. We all started feeling emotionally devastated, thinking about all the harm that female did to few of us.

But then, I realized and tried to scrutinize what were we upto? Nothing much, but just spoiling our own get-together, our own moods. Was this discussion even affecting the person in concern in anyway? No!!! She might be enjoying and having fun sitting somewhere in some part of the world, hardly bothered about what she did to others and here, all of us (like a bunch of dumbos), were ready to sacrifice our good time for the heck of discussing her deeds and bitching about her!!!

Why? Guess, all the fault doesn't lay on us! Its just so much hard-wired into our system. We, specially women get so hyper thinking about others that we, go to any extent to dig the grave of their doings, discussing about it over and over again, spoiling our own moods and senses, torturing our own emotions! And this is what the problem is!

Now, the most important question, cant it be changed? Off course it can be! Very easily. All you need to do is to put a conscious effort towards it. Promise yourself that you would never ever bitch about anyone. Talking and discussing about someone is completely ok, afterall we are all humans and this is one of the human traits. But it is just fine till the extent it fuels your rather, insipid life! The moment these discussions start transforming into horrible conversations, which reciprocates in terms of  invoking any sort of negative emotion in you like hate, anger, jealousy etc, just consciously stop! Stop, breathe, relax and just excuse yourself from that conversation. And believe me, you will feel so much better and happy! You will feel as if you saved yourself from one huge tsunami (of emotions)

Guys, draw a line, where you should stop thinking, talking or discussing about any other person! In short, just reduce your curiosity to talk about others. And you will be able to eliminate one negative part from your life so easily.

Bitching, ahhhh... lay it to rest now!

Be happy, keep smiling alwaaayyyssss...:)

 “Allow enemies their space to hate; they will destroy themselves in the process.” ― Lisa Du

Don't let yourself become an eg of being an enemy in the above mentioned quote! Its clear who is going to benefit by that:)

Friday, May 30, 2014

All you need is a will to live

And so, I am back with another tale of courage, love and determination.

Even this one had been narrated by one of my professors. Let me call him Rajesh for the sake of ease of describing the story. I guess, I am getting too much inspired by my professors these days, but never mind. They are there to inspire people like me:) And I feel proud and fortunate that I am able to grasp the emotions and gist of the stories that they narrate in the class.

Anyways, the story goes like this. Rajesh had been in UK for a CSR (Corporate social responsibilities) activity. That year, he chose to nurse and take care of one of the terminally ill patient in a hospice in UK. Just for your information, terminal illness is a medical term commonly used to refer to a disease that will result in the death of the patient regardless of any treatment intervention and a patient who has such an illness may be referred to as a terminal patient or terminally ill patient. And such patients are generally sent to a hospice where they are taken care of.

And so, he landed up in one of the hospice in UK. He was asked to take care of this one old lady called Megan (name changed, off course), who had been suffering from Lung Cancer

For few days Rajesh observed the ambiance and environment out there. Obviously, it was full of depression and distress. People, primarily used to talk about death, how it would feel when they would face it, how painful it would be, when would be the time when they will face it and they used to discuss all those sort of painful things.

Rajesh, obviously got very disturbed by witnessing the pain and worries of the people who are on the verge of dying and worst part was, they were aware of it

But then, there was this one lady who never used to talk about this one topic: death and that was Megan. She used to talk about everything apart from death. She used to discuss about the political, social, economic conditions of the country, her concerns regarding the same. She was, even fighting and struggling to improve the basic amenities of the hospice.

On top of that, Rajesh says that there was something different about her, that made her stand out in all. Something that was so charismatic and alluring. And that was her smile. It seems she always used to wear that smile, despite the fact that it really hurts to smile if you are a lung cancer patient.  It is so because when you smile your face, your body is stretched, including your lungs and it causes an unbearable pain to a lung cancer patient.

Even then it seems this lady always used to have a beautiful smile on her face, which used to make her look extremely pretty. Rajesh describes her as a very adorable lady. And he even says that he never got a chance to take care of her because she was always so active, both physically and mentally. Rajesh was extreamly shocked to see her doing all this, at this devastating stage of life.

Which normal person would dare to laugh and smile all the time, while standing on the death's door? Which normal person would dare to discuss about country's issues while he own life is on the verge of finishing? Why would such a person bother about anything else in the first place? At such stage, people normally tend to go into a depression, leave every hope, stop doing all the activities and wait for the death to strike them.

What they don't understand is we all are in the same situation. The only difference is people inside the hospice are aware of the fact that they are going to die, but people outside have no idea. Anybody can die anytime! Infact, they can take it as an opportunity to do every damn thing they wanted to do in the lifetime, to enjoy and celebrate every moment. We, outsiders spend these precious moments in stressing ourselves out for jobs, work, money, children, family etc, without bothering and thinking about the fact that if we die  the next moment, then what use will this all be of? We waste our present in a hope to make our future happy and that moment never comes!

Anyways, yeah so Rajesh saw her doing the same thing for 3 months. He saw Megan's determination to live every moment with happiness and positivity, to do what she loves doing.

And after next 2 months, there happened a miracle. Megan was sent back to the hospital as her health was improving. They say its really rare for a patient to come back to the hospital once sent to a hospice. Even the doctors were stunned to see this case.

And they say its just her positivity that worked on her body. Its true your body behaves according to your mind set. If you are negative towards it all the time, if you crib and cry about a disease, your body accepts the fact and give up to it. But when you make your mind and heart work in other direction towards positivity, your body is left with no option but to follow them.

This is the power of being happy and positive all the time. All parts of your body react in exactly the same way, as how you feel:) So, make them happy...

BTW, Megan was cured and is amongst those rare patients who have been able to come out of the horrible trap of cancer and that too, in the last stage, just because of her positive attitude. May be some power somewhere saw Megan smiling and loving life and thought to give her few more time to enjoy life. And guess this is how miracles happen

Keep smiling. Stay Positive. Be happy.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Me to Myself

Dear 22 yr old me,

How are you? Oh sorry, Let me ask you in your style, what's up? Hows life? I know quite busy... Busy in catching up with the swift pace of life, busy in proving yourself. BTW, to whom??? Oh!! You are busy in getting an answer to that as well!

Its not your fault. That's the aggression that comes with this age. But have you observed that you are becoming a workaholic. You don't think so? Yeah? Then what are you doing in office at 11 pm? Why cant you sleep for one night without thinking about your clients, your work, about your boss and yes, about your competition at work? Why are you unable to enjoy anything in your life?

Your family came to visit your place for the first time. And you did not even take a day's off to be with them!!! Is this acceptable? No. They went back without complaining. But you missed few very precious moments of your life.

BTW, did you have lunch today? No, you dint and you don't even remember that. Why? You were busy. There was an important project delivery today! And dinner? You missed that too dear, because you were just too tired to cook.

Why do you worry so much about everything? About work? The competition is killing you. Did you observe? You are becoming a different person. You have already killed all that you used to love doing. You have already forgotten your hobbies.

Don't get infuriated. I don't mean to criticize you. I just want to tell you to hold for a moment, as you are killing me!!! Your tomorrow. I just want to tell you that its not that bad as it looks. Your future is safe. You have a good life ahead. You really do not have to kill yourself by thinking and stressing yourself. By over-working for the heck of "safe guarding" your career and your future. I just want to tell you, it will be good, any which ways!

Take this advice from a lil grown up and lil matured you, do not run behind things that are not going to help you in becoming happy in anyway. They are actually killing you, they are creating an urge in you that is unquenchable. And this urge will never let you sleep easy, will never let you be happy and contented and this all matters in life!

Be with your family, enjoy spending time with them, you will never get this time again. Do what you always wanted to do, go out and have fun with your friends!!! And that will give you real happiness, and to me too

Do not waste these precious moments. Please

Love and best regards,
29 years old you

The changing facet of FB

Facebook! A name that has impacted everyone's life, for few in a huge way and for others, in small fragments. But Facebook is certainly influencing everyone's life, the quantum might vary.

It was, initially and majorly, a very powerful source of connecting with your friends from school and college, with whom you wouldn't have been ever able to make a connection otherwise. Its a blessing that way!

But lately rather than just being a medium of getting connected with your friends, people have started using it as a platform for showing off, showing off everything, everything that they have and everything that they do not even have, everything that they possess, everything that do not even own, which includes both materialistic and emotional things

They vent out their anger on their walls, they flaunt their happiness, they drown in their sadness. FB wall has actually become a showcase for every damn feeling they have.Its a open personal diary

For them, Facebook has become a virtual home:)  For others, its a medium to just let their acquaintances and friends know about their valuable possessions and achievements. No offence intended:)

This is not at all an acquisition. No! Who am I to judge anyone, when even I am a part of the same:) How dare I point out fingers at others when three of them are pointing towards me? Ouch! It hurts! But the truth is yes, even I am a part of it at times. How? Let me tell you.

On a usual day, while getting bored of my rather insipid life, wanting to kill my time, desperate to get rid of my monotonous schedule, I look upto Facebook for help.

Now, let me take you through my FB experience, I open my FB page, see a status of one of my friends, "Friday blast! Time to party...!".


What did I do?

Take a breath and click on like!

 I scroll down, another status from one of my another friend, "Had an amazing day in the wilderness. Life is beautiful". Sigh!

What did I do?

Like and move down.

Here comes a set of pictures from one of my friends holidaying in Paris, with crazy and fun filled poses. Sign.

What did I do?

Like. Move down...

A cousin of mine, "Thank you my love for this beautiful ring! I am so lucky to have you in my life. I love you".

What did I do?

Like and here, commented "I am so happppyyyyyyyyy and thrilledddd. wowwww... Congrats!!!!!" with a boring and murky face, with no expressions to match with the words I just scribbled! And then, I scroll down.

And I go through the same zillion of stories and tales of my friends, cousins, acquaintances etc depicting their fun-filled and amazing life!

BTW, I even go through some amazingly hilarious posts like

" 'm the princessss of mah own world!" (Yeah!!! and we are slaves of our own world)

Some idiotic selfies with "Mah, mayself" (We all are someone else!!!)

"Heartbreak </3" (I am sorry!!! but even this 'serious' msg looks hilarious when posted on a FB wall)

"Forevaaaa 2gther!" (No comments!!! These 'Forevaaaa 2gther' couples are the most irritating ones on FB)

Anyways, what did I do? With a sulky feeling in the heart, with no zeal, passion or excitement, I go to my status, select a feelings icon of "excited"!

I shut down my lappy and dive deep into my sleep filled with crazy dreams.

But then, my brain starts mulling over few questions like why do we love to show each and every part of our happiness, happiness that exist and happiness that we crave for, the pretentious one. May be its just a way to get rid of your monotonous life (the way I did!). Is this, all that we see true or just a fallacy??? Or is it a way for them to hide the boring and sad part of their lives? Or do we intend to make others jealous!

What is it??? Nobody knows! 

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Don't go far off...

Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.
-Pablo Neruda

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Stages of life: all we do is "die"

6 yrs old,
Innocent and impatient,
Dying to grow up as soon as possible
10 yrs old,
Naughty and callous
Dying to be out of parent's restricted shell
16 yrs old,
Cute and confused
Dying to understand the world's customs
22 yrs old,
B'ful and confident
Dying to be out, & make a mark for myself
26 yrs old,
Hot and high headed
Dying to be one of those on the top
32 yrs old,
Adult and matured
Dying to know whats next
40 yrs old,
Middle-aged and secured
Dying to figure out how to deal with my mid life crises
50 yrs old,
Wrinkled and unsure
Dying to do something different in life
60 yrs old,
Whimsical and stubborn
Dying to bring everyone in my control
70 yrs old,
Aged and unbearable
Dying to figure out what the world is upto
80 yrs old,
Tired and intolerable
Dying to look back and find few moments of happiness
85 yrs old,
Weary and exhausted
Dying to live my life again

But now, I am really dying... 
Apprehensive and scared to die,
Though it is what I have been doing my whole life,
Suddenly, I realize, I died everyday, at every stage of my life
And I forgot to live.
Replace "dying" with "living" and you will have nothing to regret
You will only have happy stories to share

Sunday, April 13, 2014

A true leader

Today I got an amazing example of a true leader while reading about a small incident from our former president Mr. Abdul Kalam's life.

It goes like this:

Mr. Kalam was chosen as the project director of one of India's largest satellite launch vehicle program, called the SLV-3. This program was to put India’s “Rohini” satellite into orbit by 1980.

But then despite of lot of efforts towards making it a success, the same got failed miserably. There was some problem that got developed in the satellite at the last stage and instead of going into the orbit, the whole rocket system plunged into Bay of Bengal. It was a huge failure and a letdown for the whole team.

Now, that very day, then chairman of the ISRO (Indian Space Research Organization), Prof. Satish Dhawan had called for a press conference, which was obviously to be conducted by Mr Kalam as he was the project director. While in the press conference, it seems Mr Kalam got really nervous. And then, Prof. Dhawan pulled himself in and asked Mr Kalam to leave for doing something very urgent. Obviously, it was an excuse to make Mr Kalam leave the conference. And then, Prof. Dhawan, like a true leader conducted the press conference himself.

He took the complete responsibility for the failure on himself.  During the press conference, he said that the team had worked really hard, but that it needed more technological support. He even assured the media that in the next year, the team would definitely succeed.

How many leaders, in today's world have the courage to stand next to their team. Infact how many leaders have the courage to stand and take the responsibilty for their team's failure? How many of them become a shield to protect their team from all sort of problems. In realistic terms, the failure was of Mr Kalam, but instead, Prof Dhawan took the responsibility for the failure as the chairman of the organization.

The story doesnt end here.

Next year, the team again tried to launch the satellite and this time they  succeeded.

The whole nation was, obviously jubilant. And again, there was a press conference organized. But this time, Prof. Dhawan called Mr. Kalam aside and instructed him to conduct the press conference.

And he made Mr Kalam to be the face of the success.

This incident is a live example of a great lesson, which no book ever can teach. When failure occurs, a true leader of the organization owns that failure. And when success comes, he happily give it to his team.

Sad to say, but there is a dearth of true leaders in our country now. Be it in any sector, people are managers, bosses, but leaders: they are hard to find.

I wish there were more leaders like Prof. Dhawan. World would have been a happy place. Work would not have been a burden and life would have had become so easy and joyful, sans all the stress, tension and torture of the insensitive, selfish bosses.

Keep smiling.

A beautiful tale of emotions and relationships

So, I am back after a break. Had been so busy with office and studies that I just had no time for any other thing in life!

Anyway, today what bought me here is actually not me. Its one of my professors, whose story was just so damn incredible that I just could not hold myself from writing about this brilliant story of his, that he shared with all of us in the class today.

It made me believe that even today great people exists, people who care for their loved ones, people who consider and put emotions at a very special elevated place in their lives, for whom relationships matter more than any thing in the world: more than position, money, job, settling abroad etc.

Hats off to this man! And believe me, even you will feel the same after reading about the turning point in this man's career.

So, I will start the story from the very relevant point. This man's dream came true when he got a job in PWC in US. I mean, it would have been a dream come true for anyone on this planet. 

He joined the company and was there for about 7 years, settled in US, happily married with a kid. Like any other Indian migrating to US, he had plans for permanently settling in US. He even applied for a green card, which fortunately got through and he was about the receive the same in a year or so.

And there comes the turning point when one day while enjoying and having a good time at a party, he got a call from India. It was his dad, who called him to share a devastating news, which was that his mother had been diagnosed with cancer.

Obviously, any son would feel distressed after getting acquainted with such a horrible news about any of his parent. He, immediately flew to India to meet his mom . And after few days, he realized that his mother needed him the most at this point of time. She never said it because she never wanted to be a reason of destroying her son's career but then, she couldn't even hide her emotions, her feelings that she needed him the most at this stage of her life, in this frightening fight of hers. More than any medicine, more than her husband or anybody, it was him who could give her comfort and make her feel better.

He sensed it. That was his first step of greatness. How many sons today really make an effort to listen to the unsaid words of their parents? How many? We dont have time for such things these days. Right?

How many of us make an effort these days to feel the unrevealed emotions of our parents, emotions that are buried somewhere deep inside them, and emotions that are scared to come out in front of the world, to get exposed to this materialistic and busy world.

Anyways, the next greatness of this man is he took a decision to get back and settle in India.

My eyes were full of tears when I heard this. Because I had just witnessed these kind of sons in movies, the perfect sons. I never ever got a chance to meet one of these till date.

At the end, he told about the thing that made him strong enough to take such an audacious step of sacrificing his career and a green card (which is the biggest dream of every Indian staying in US). While he was going through this dilemma, it was just one thing that helped him to make his choice, which was:

He asked one simple question to himself, "She was always there with me, when I needed her. Now, can I leave her when she needed me the most? Shouldn't  I be there standing next to her in these toughest times, the way she always stood next to me in my struggles?"

I loved it. I was on the verge of clapping like an insane in the class itself. I know, how much strength it took for me to hold my emotions back.

I see people running behind jobs, money and all sort of materialistic things these days. There is really a dearth of real emotions in people that surround me. Everybody is like running in a race. Everybody is like swimming in the red ocean, saving themselves and ready to kill others for the sake of some materialistic thing. Is it worth it? Can it really give the real happiness? We just dont value the real things in life that can give you the real happiness.

We waste our valuable time in all sort of crap and its often, too late when we realize it.

So, respect the relationships in your life. Nothing in the world can give you more happiness than doing something for the ones you love, even if that means to make few sacrifices. They are worth it!

BTW, his mom got well and she is fit and fine even today:) And he believes that it was God's gift to him for doing his job, for fulfilling the unstated promise. I loved this one too!

Live every emotion, share them with you family, friends and people around you. Keep smiling and also, give a reason to others  for smiling.

Life is too short to be wasted on any of the materialistic things. They will not go with you when you leave the world, its just good memories and what you did for others, that will accompany you till the end of your journey and perhaps, even after that. Who knows:)
Keep smiling!