Thursday, January 30, 2014

What's your definition of happiness?

Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to the things and people that stress you out
                                                                                              -Thema Davis

Everybody have a different definition for happiness.  As many the number of people, as many the definitions for happiness.

Today while talking to a friend, I was made to think about happiness with a very practical and a very pragmatic approach.

And finally I got to the conclusion that happiness is doing your favorite things, happiness is to have freedom to do what you love, what you are passionate about! And then obviously, my thought made a shift to things that would give me happiness. And you know what, my mind drew a line there as well, between the practical ones and others, that are probably just a dream

Also, I strictly instructed my mind to keep itself within the reins of only 5 things! And I am happy, it did listen to me, at least this time! <Relief!!!>

So, here is the list of few things that define happiness to me. What's yours?

Practical ones:
  • My parents being happy and being proud of me
  • My family and friends being happy, healthy and safe
  • Getting appreciated at work
  • Making someone laugh loudly and if that someone happens to be a 'someone special', your happiness crosses all the borders and meet ecstasy
  • Meeting friends and having a bindaas, awesome, rocking gala time with them

Dreamy ones:
  • Doing sketching all day long without any intrusion
  • Hibernating with my books! Reading for days together without meeting, talking to anyone!
  • Dancing crazily.... senselessly... recklessly... insanely... with a passionate madness
  • Going somewhere for few months, away from everybody, without any mode of communication... I dream of going to classical dance gurukuls in some village someday and want to live and experience the beauty of a simple life. I know this is amongst those very rare things that will give me an immense happiness
  • Learning sketching and painting from an expert
 Keep smiling and loving life:) Its beautiful...

Monday, January 27, 2014

The good old nostalgic days...

Give Me Some Sunshine,
Give Me Some Rain,
Give Me Another Chance,
I Wanna Grow Up Once Again...

I was having a chat with a friend of mine who was narrating stories of her 5 year old kid: the stuff that she does, the games that she loves to play, the way she responds to different situations etc

And this was more than enough for something to take me back to childhood. I guess it is the best phase in everyone's life.

I started thinking about various things that we, our generation used to do. Definitely we were not as smart and mature as this generation is but we had our own ways, our own stuff and our own things to enjoy and cherish. My brain started mulling over those old beautiful memories, my heart started playing with them, leaving me with nostalgia. It was like an audio cassette (remember one!) getting played in reverse.

I felt like begging someone to drag me away to that life once more, I was craving to get drowned into the ocean of memories, the beautiful memories.

I started yearning to live that life again... I felt a passionate hunger within me somewhere to go back to my childhood because this time, I would live it with much more zeal and enthusiasm, this time I would make sure to enjoy each and every moment of it because now, I know and appreciate the value of those good old days, I know the worth of that phase.

“Memories of childhood were the dreams that stayed with you after you woke.”                                                                           ― Julian Barnes, England, England

I recollected some things, some stuff from my childhood, in fact most of them would have been a part of everyone's childhood.I miss them now! They certainly play a very major role in defining my childhood. Do you remember:

•    The beautiful cute ads. One being the cartoon ad of Ek chidiyaan, anek chidiyan, that gave us the learning of the power of unity and togetherness
•    Those amazing cartoons: Jungle book, Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, Aladdin. Now, they were a part of everyone's childhood
•    Waiting all week to see the next episode of your favorite show
•    Ramayana  and Mahabharata: How can anyone forget them man!
•    VCRs: They were a luxury, an amazing luxury
•    Those awesome stuff that we used to make out of paper: planes, boats, guns, birds, dolls... I doubt how many of them I remember now. I will certainly try few of them soon
•   Rains! How much I used to love rains because of 2 reasons: 1. Rainy day, that means holiday from school, 2. Simple, drenching in rain used to be fun, real fun! Now, rain seems to be so irritating to me because with it, comes high traffic, bad roads and nuisance. I never cared for all this before, while I was young!
•    Super fun games like "Name, place, animal and thing", "Tipi tipi top", "Cross circle", "Snake and ladder", "Monopoly"
•   Playing brick games on Video game sets
•   The smell of new books and notebooks.  The excitement of covering them with paper of your favorite color, to paste those fun 'name stickers' on top (even the place used to be matter of thinking: Top left side, exactly in middle of the notebook), with all the cartoons and designs on them
•    Can anyone forget Mario and its super cool music?
•    Making Bubbles of soapy liquid and spending hours in restroom doing that till mom used to shout about getting late to school
•    Shooting paper bullets from rubber bands
•    Sleeping in class!
•    Your first pet! They always have this special place in your heart and mind, and that remains there forever. It used to be so much relaxing to play and sit with your pet and talking to it for hours and really believing it to be listening, understanding and responding to you
•    Drawing scenery's with mountains, a hut, a tree, sun, few birds, some grass and a small stream of water! This is something that every kid had their hands on.
•    Building houses by joining all the chairs and tables and pillows and whatever you could afford to get and drag
•    The secret run-away's in the hot afternoons just to play out with friends, leaving mom sleeping
•    Keeping all the stationary so organized in the pencil box. How much I was in love with my orange pencil box. I am feeling a crave for it now.
•    First doll always have this special place in every girl's life
•    That amazing first bicycle: one of the most beautiful things from childhood
•    That awesome first watch that also used to happen to be the first expensive possession.
•    SUPW classes: creating stunning stuff with card boards and waste things
•    Those colorful sketch pens!
•    Best friend: You had many friends back then, but there used to be that one special best friend with whom you used to roam around in lunchtime, you use to share your box, you used to talk, laugh and do everything with
•    Waiting for school vacations when you used to get a chance to visit any of your relatives and be with your cousins
•    Keeping an empty cup over your mouth, inhaling in and leaving it there and feeling like a super hero
•    Sliding down the side of the stairs
•    Watching all those horrible, scary movies with your cousins!
•    Ghost stories that you used to love to listen to and share with your cousins and friends.
•    Games of Ringa Ringa Roses and 1-2-3 and you go free and you just look like a chim-pan.zee
•    Singing and dancing without caring for anyone
•    Flying kites was one of my favorite things in childhood
•    Waiting for festivals
•    New clothes used to bring such an excitement, such a happiness!
•    Fascination with mom's makeup kit and perfumes
•    Playing with your grandparents, the stories that they used to tell every night holds such a special place in your life. They are amongst those very rare things that always remain with us.

Now, lets grow up a bit:

•    That cute first  love...
•    Waiting for parents to go out so that, you could be free to talk over phone with your friends
•    Sharing of Archies cards and teddy's with your best friends
•    Those super such cute slam books
•    Crushes on teachers!
•    The amazing unforgettable School dress: ironing each and every crease of your shirt and skirt, polishing those black shoes
•    School picnics used to be super fun
•    Curiosity to know about the stuff that mom and aunties used to gossip about!
•    Waiting for your cousins to visit you
•    Those cute letters that you used to share with your cousins and friends with beautiful stickers
•    Tape recorders and cassettes: Saving all your pocket money to buy cassette of your fav singer/movie!
•    Getting your favorite songs recorded
•    Posters of your favorite pop sensations and movie stars
•    How can you forget those amazing refreshing playlists of Michael Jackson, Backstreet boys, MLTR, Boyzone, Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, Ricky Martin, Mariah Carey, Cher, Shania Twain, Spice girls, Savage Garden, Westlife, Geri Halliwell, George Michael, Shaggy and the list goes on and on

I miss that innocence, that carefree, stress free, tension free, untroubled, undemanding, peaceful, simple yet beautiful, cheerful, serene life! I miss all my stuff... all the things!!! Now, I know the meaning of what mom used to always say to cherish and make memories because those are the only things you are allowed to take away with you and everything else remains back here

I wish, that time I knew that I would never be getting those amazing days back, I wish, that time I was aware of the fact that I was living the best days of my life... Perhaps I would have enjoyed a little more... Perhaps, I would have lived a little more...

I wish to exit the world as I entered: Innocent!

Be happy!

Say hello... to your new beautiful self

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”
   ― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

I am soon to step in the 30's club... next year! Yeah, and astonishingly it just doesn't feel that horrifying as it sounds. In early 20's, entering into 30's was a nightmare for me. Guess, it is for every young girl. Now, entering 40's is a nightmare.  But now I know and understand that it's something natural and its going to come, some or the other day. And so, I really do not have to bother much about it.

The matured wisdom that you see in my previous said words was not there from forever! I was not the same few weeks ago. I had a different approach to this. I was horrified, scared to death and used to feel aghast by just the thought of leaving 20's! Why? Because its an universal unsaid presumption that leaving 20's means leaving youth! It means you are approaching adulthood, just not in terms of maturity, but in every sense. It means, there are a hell lot of things that are going to change for you. And you know whats the scariest thing amongst this list of gruesome things for a woman: its her looks, the young skin, the lustrous youth, the gleaming charm, that appealing charisma that will get fade away with age.

Well, let me narrate from beginning.

Few months back, I started observing few changes in me: a few wrinkles, a few open pores, a few dark spots, and some other things, that raised an alarm that finally, the most forbidden thing is going to soon knock at my door: Age!

And the nightmare started.  All this can be a very strong reason for a horrifying misery for any woman! Believe me...

I was missing my carefree, tension-free self when these petty things never bothered me. I never had these concerns. I never cared for anything when I was young: acne, dark patches, spots,  sunburn...  nothing! It never mattered to me at that point of time. But as I am growing older, these things have started bothering me. Why? A small pimple is more than enough to snatch away a night's sleep from me now! The small wrinkles which I have started observing looks hideous now. My dark circles looks ugly, damn ugly to me now, despite the fact that they had been there for always and they never looked so bad to me before!

I started checking each and every detail of my face frequently and started feeling repulsive, or rather grotesque. Attimes, I saw those small dark spots, of pigmentation or God knows what and I felt like howling.

I started standing in front of mirror for minutes together, wandering whats happening with me? Why this change? I never looked so ugly... Everything started looking awful to me! Was this mark there before? OMG! A new wrinkle? When did it appear and what caused it? A new pimple is on the way, I should apply a cream now itself, to prevent it from bursting into a huge ugly blotch on my face! And all this started revolving around in my head 24*7.

I started feeling inferior. I stopped looking directly into people's eye while talking to them because I had this weird conjecture built up in my mind, that all people would be noticing are: my marks, the imperfections in my beauty, the flaws, my dark circles and all the defects that I carry now. And all they would be thinking somewhere inside is how horrible this woman looks! BTW, till now these small flaws on my face had taken a shape of a big defect in my mind! I started feeling ugly, real ugly and always carried this urge of not facing and meeting anyone. All I wanted was to crouch in the cobwebbed darkness. There was this passionate sadness that surrounded me. I felt a kind of fear in getting noticed and labeled as an ugly woman.

And all this was dragging me into a ditch of never ending disturbance! After being in this trauma for weeks altogether, after bearing all the self caused humiliation, after going through a huge amount of self imposed degradation, I knew I had to do something! Something...

For hours, I used to look and search for preventions and cures on net. I wanted to know and was eager to buy anything, any product at any cost which could save me from all my flaws. While doing all this research, I noticed that its just not me alone who is gripped into this beauty flaws erroneous belief. There were many other women out there, suffering from the same!

But finally I realized its not products that I need because all they would do is (if I get a miraculous product which is a fallacy!) postpone this ageing thing for a year or so. I had to find some other solution. Something reliable and effective.

And I just made myself relaxed, really relaxed... And then, I closed my eyes and tried to converse with myself. I asked myself why do I want to be perfect? Why is this thing killing me? Why am I making such a big issue out of it? Why am I blowing it off out of proportion?

I explained to myself that you can't stop the skin from aging, you can't stop something that is natural. Your mom had been through this, your aunts have been through this and so do many other women out there go through this. Do every women feels the same? Do they? No, I don't think so. And then, my mind started recalling the names of those beautiful women whom I know have aged gracefully! They never dyed their hair, had never put layers of makeup but still had an aura around them. Still they looked beautiful. They had wrinkles, a lot of them. Still they never appeared ugly to me! How? Even they had all the 'imperfections' that are bothering me now, still they look stunning and gorgeous. How come they seem to be so happy dealing with their age and these imperfections?

And all these realizations made me feel embarrassed. How could I allow myself to inherit such a tainted and petite thought! I rebuked myself for torturing me for such small a thing! I always considered myself a very strong woman. Was that a myth? How come some pimples and few spots and few wrinkles made me weak? I felt humiliating! It took away the pride that I always had for my beauty! Was that pride only for upper beauty? No... it couldn't be. I was not a showy person at all! And I knew and was confident about it. And I had valid reason for that. I always felt more happy, more delighted when people complimented me on my traits, on my qualities, on my persona, on my individuality, on my uniqueness than on my beauty! And that's the inner beauty of which I had always been proud of. How come few small spots on my skin take away that pride? Isn't that insulting to me? Isn't that an offense to my pride? Doesn't this makes me a person with a very limited wisdom, a person with a conventional approach? Doesn't it make me equal to those whom I had always criticized for not seeing and appreciating the larger and imperative picture and always keeping themselves confined to insignificant and petty things.

And there I was, a changed person! Yes, for me a small realization, a strong rebuke from myself, is more than enough to throw away all the negative and unwanted thoughts from my mind, from my soul and from my life.

These wrinkles shows that I smile a lot and I take pride in that. These marks shows my experience and I take pride in that. Whats wrong in that? I have a familiarity with these pimples since I was young, then whats there to be scared of them now?

I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that.
                                                                                - Lauren Bacall

Its good to try, to look and to want to be beautiful, to indulge yourself in skincare, to take care of yourself. Its really important. But that's just a part of your life, a small part. Its not your life at all! You, as a person, is much larger than it and much more beautiful than you can see.

Instead, you should invest your time, money and energy in making every part of your body (not just face) healthy and beautiful. You definitely need a healthy and a strong body to help yourself get going through this real long and tough journey called life. Work on being healthy, concentrate your energies in making your body strong. And believe me, this will show on your face too. I have been knowing women who really are beautiful, even in their 40's and just because of their healthy and stress free lifestyle and not because of all the creams and peels that are available in the market. They would do no good:)

And stop taking these wrinkles and minute spots seriously. At the end, all people remember is the kind of person you are, the kind of gentleness you hold, the kind of aura you carry, the kind of love and care you shower on everyone, the kind of attitude you have and not just beauty. Outer beauty will lose its charm in front of the softness of your conscience,  for the shrewd and strong beliefs that you possess. People remember you for the beauty that you leave behind and not the beauty that you carry.

Believe me, people might notice your outer beauty for the first time they see you but they immediately forget all of these unsaid flaws as soon as they get acquainted with your inner beauty, as soon as you greet them with a huge beautiful smile.

Go ahead ladies, free yourself from this trauma that beclouds your love for life, that makes it obscure for you to see and enjoy the beautiful moments. Shed this artificial skin and you will feel beautiful, you will also learn and see conspicuously that there is a beauty in imperfection too.

And promise yourself to age gracefully. If you can't stop something, start enjoying it! Prevent from becoming one of those wannabes whose desperation to look beautiful gets converted into obsession, and after an age, it becomes impossible for them to hide this obsession and believe me, it makes you look like a horrible, shallow person. Be comfortable in your own skin and nothing can make you look and feel more beautiful than that.

Cheers and embrace life. You would never be as young as you are today at this moment. Why to let it go? Why to sacrifice this beautiful young moment on some rotten decayed brainless thoughts?
Explore the beautiful you, which gets veiled away somewhere in the race of exploring the false beauty!

Stay happy, stay wild, stay beautiful.

People often say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing you are the beholder.
                           -  Salma Hayek

Sunday, January 26, 2014

The black swan

We all know the story.... A girl, pure and sweet, trapped in the body of a swan. She desires freedom, but only true love can break the spell. Her wish is nearly granted in the form of a prince. But before he can declare his love, her lustful twin, the Black Swan, tricks and seduces him. 

Devastated the White Swan leaps off a cliff, killing herself and in death finds freedom......

                                                                                                                         - Black Swan 

At times, I get carried away by my deep thoughts far somewhere... somewhere which is a beautiful place, where there is noone, just me, my wings and my freedom, noone to stop me from doing anything, noone to stop me from following my dreams, noone to hold me back from running behind what I love, noone to tell me what is right and what is not, a place where there are no defined rules, a place of beautiful dreams, where all you do is what you love doing, where there are no boundaries, where there are no fears! You are free... In my land, you are free to fly as high as your wings can take you, noone would be there to stop you, to slash your wings, to put you in a cage! Noone!
And there in that mysteriously alluring world, I flap my wings, look at the beautiful sky that calls me with open arms, I flutter my wings again, I push myself up, I flap my wings harder, I push myself again and there I go... High in the sky... sky that is smiling at me, towards the clouds that are murmuring a beautiful song... I fly... Full of ecstasy... Full of life... Noone is there to stop me... Noone! I laugh, I dance, I sing, I fly...I fly... high... higher... highest... in the sky of ecstasy... my perfect enigmatic world!

And then, something jerks me off, pulls me down to earth and drags me to reality, from my perfect world to this not-so-perfect one! Was I conjuring again?

Have you ever wondered if given a chance to ask and own one thing in this world, what would that be for you? Some would say money, some would take their lover's name, some would choose to be the best, someone would go for some materialistic thing. You know, what would be my answer: Freedom... Inevitably! Undoubtedly! I am even ready to beg and implore for it! That much love I have for this one word called freedom... I think thats the most valuable thing a person can possess. Freedom to live your life as you want! Freedom from the worldly boundations. Freedom to own your life. Freedom to call it yours. Freedom to do what you like doing. Freedom to be free. Freedom to fly.

Freedom to be you, without anyone's permission

Even after-life looks beautiful if one gets their freedom there.

We all know the story.... A girl, pure and sweet, trapped in this world. She desires freedom, but only fulfilling her desires, living her life her own way can break the spell. Her wish is nearly granted in the form of a dream. But before it can declare it's love, the cruel world, the Black Swan, tricks and seduces it, snatches it away.

Devastated the White Swan leaps off a cliff, killing herself and in death finds freedom......

Saturday, January 25, 2014

You might not be perfect... But you are perfect for me...

"But for now, let me say — without hope or agenda, just because it’s Christmas and at Christmas you tell the truth — to me, you are perfect. And my wasted heart will love you. Until you look like this... (a picture of a mummy)"
                                                —  Mark, Love actually

I am sure many of us are aware and adore this beautiful scene from Love actually!

We all know and will also agree that love is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world! And I know this is the most used phrase in the universe, but then forgive me! I could not find much appropriate and better words to describe the importance of this one feeling: Love! This is the only feeling in the world that can make you think "Am I crazy?"

The day I watched this movie and this scene, I remember asking myself, "How amazing it would be to be perfect for someone? How would it feel?"

Well, it feels perfect. It feels special. It feels wonderful. It feels amazing. It feels unique. It feels extraordinary. It feels miraculous. it feels remarkable. It feels beautiful. It feels great. It feels every good thing that exist on this earth

Being perfect for someone! What does that mean?

Well, it means being 2 pieces of the same puzzle. Being a sketch of an artist. Being a beautiful story of a narrator. Being the water in a river. Being the moon in a full moon night. Being the gentle wind when its too hot. Being a gleam of warmth when it gets cold. Being a shelter when it rains. Being a cure when it pains. Being a beat to a heart. Being a lie to a liar. Being blue color to the sky. Being wings to a bird. Being an answer to a question. Being a weapon to a soldier. Being a poem to a poet, Being everything to nothing!

“…If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love … I love … I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.”

                                                                                                            —Darcy , Pride & Prejudice

It means loving someone in distress, loving someone even when they are irritated. Loving someone even when they don't need you around. Loving someone even when they help you lose your mind. Loving someone even when they are annoyed. Loving someone even when they are grumpy. Loving someone even when they shout and scream. Loving someone even when they fill your life with troubles. Loving someone even when they do things that you detest. Loving someone even when they bring disorder to your life. Loving someone even when they give you pain. Loving someone even when they are not fun to be around. Loving someone when they are in despair. Loving someone even when they cause you distress. Loving someone even when they are full of hopelessness. Loving someone even when they are disappointed. Loving someone even when they desire to be with someone else. Loving someone, when they are strongest and also, when they are the weakest!

"I Like You Very Much Just As You Are"
                                                                     — Mark, Bridget Jones's Diary

It means standing next to someone when they need you and when they don't. It means holding someone's hands when they ask you and even they don't. It means its ok not to be there when they are happy, but to be there when they are distressed. It means its ok not to be there in their victory but to be there in their failure. It means its ok not to be there in their great phase, but to be there in their dire straits. It means loving someone with your whole heart and soul

"If You're A Bird, I'm A Bird"

                                                  — Noah,  "The Notebook"

It means falling in love with their stupidity. Falling in love with their craziness. Falling in love with their silliness. Falling in love with their insanity. Falling in love with their madness. Falling in love with their absurdity. Falling in love with their childishness. Falling in love with their silliness. Falling in love with their ridiculousness. Falling in love with their phobias. Falling in love with their passions. Falling in love with their obsessions. Falling in love with their fascinations. Falling in love just not with their positives, but embracing their negatives.

“Isabella Swan, I promise to love you every moment of forever.”

                                                                         — Edward Cullen, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

It means loving someone unconditionally. Loving someone absolutely. Loving someone completely.  Loving someone extremely.  Loving someone enormously. Loving someone entirely. Loving someone wholly. Loving someone exceptionally. Loving someone exceedingly. Loving someone endlessly. Loving someone really! Yes, really...

 “…I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and … I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me.”
                — Melvin, As Good As It Gets

It means making someone your world. It means giving yourself completely to that one person. It means to take them to seventh heaven. It means making them value themselves. It means making them believe in themselves. It means being with them to help them right their wrongs. It means making them trust themselves. It means making them realize their worth. It means making them important to themselves. It means making someone love themselves

Loving someone means making someone perfect even when they are not!

Fall in love! Its beautiful, even when it is not! Its perfect, even when it is not. Its crazy, even when it is not. Its just everything, even when it is not!

“I love you. You’re my only reason to stay alive… if that’s what I am.”
                                                                                          —Edward, The Twilight Saga: New Moon

The trauma of I, me, mine, my, I did, I am, I will, I have, I own, I... I... I !!!

 “He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.”
― Charles Martin, Chasing Fireflies: A Novel of Discovery

"You know my husband was in US last month and he got me dozens of branded perfumes, lipsticks, eye shadows"

"This dress of mine is from London. A friend of mine gifted it"

" I visit 'abc' orphanage every month. Last time I went there I donated few toys and dresses to the kids"

"You know, we are going to Europe for this vacation! We only plan our trips abroad. Whats there in spending your vacation in India?"

And you hear such tales of torturous bragging every day, from people who are just so busy in boasting and living a pretentious life that their senses of appreciating the real life just gets succumbed to a wretched and pitiable death! And BTW, they had mastered this art to such an extent that they don't need to be intrigued at all.

I, fortunately or unfortunately had a chance to meet and get acquainted with lot of people from this breed.

Now, first let me give you an explanation of the words that I just mentioned in last sentence: fortunately or unfortunately. Fortunately because these people really educate you, obviously inadvertently and unconsciously, about what one should never become in life. They enlighten you about things and stuff that one should abstain from flooding others with. They really facilitate you with things that will save you from making a fool out of yourself in public! But this much wisdom and knowledge doesn't come easy boy!

And thats why I used the word unfortunately: well, its not just tough and irritating, but its painful, really painful to sit with these people and hear them bragging for hours.

I feel that this self bragging and boasting is some kind of a disease. You know, one of the traits of people suffering from it is they are very kind! Yes, you know why? Because they strongly believe in not giving a chance to anyone around them of bearing the pain of opening their mouth. And they adhere to their belief! All you need to do is putting your ears on attention! Oppss... Sorry, wrong word! Not attention. Putting your ears on fire. Your ears would scream, shout, beg, implore you to just take them away and save them from the excruciating ache of bearing such conversation for hours! But you cant. Curtsey, dear... curtsey!

But now, I have (Ok let me not take the credit), rather my poor brain has find out a solution to save me from such people. I, remain present there physically but my brain packs and sends away my thoughts somewhere to roam around. Its a good and free time, they get to relax!

Why don't people belonging to this ruthless and cruel species, realize that others, who are bound to listen to them feel bored, annoyed at times. They get filled with an awful indignation. And these feelings goes to an extent that people just want to get vanish from that place instantly. Its tremendously hard to tolerate such talks. Why? Because dear God, the endurance and patience levels required to imbibe all the self bragging that these guys do, is really tough to be found in ordinary people. The fallacies that their talks are full off, makes the environment around stink. Yes, it does.

“Perhaps the less we have, the more we are required to brag.”
― John Steinbeck, East of Eden 

BTW, there are categories of these people:

Few loves to brag about the branded and high quality stuff that they use! (Who cares!!!)They are harmless. They will just torture you by showing their tags!

Few people belong to non verbal bragging! This species generally comprises of women. They cant breathe if they dont change their FB pic atleast 4 times a day. They post each and every activity of the day on all the possible platforms! And it is always full of "I's". They can be a killer dude!

Then comes the irritating ones who just have to brag about the places they have visited and seen. BTW, they would never ever talk about their trips in the country. Its insulting to them! The trips, holidays have to be outside India!!! They are not killers, but they are super irksome and exasperating! Its tough to tolerate them. Really tough.

Then there are stupid ones who just brag about their relatives, the kind of great family he/she belongs to and blah blah. For them, I just have one word: Brainless, thats what they are. Ignore them!

Few take the pleasure in demonstrating their greatness, like the one mentioned in my orphanage example above. This is the most dangerous species of all. They put and show off their kindheartedness everywhere, every damn place!!! They will brag about it in public, they will put it on FB, on twitter and where ever possible! What do you want to show guys???  If you are visiting an orphanage, you are donating something there, why the hell do you have to put it on FB? Does it make any sense?? People who really have intention to do something good to others, never ever tell and brag about it. They do it in quiet!!!Thats called real and elegant way of caring about others and willing to do something genuinely.

Apart from the ones mentioned above, there are also people who show off their fake interest in things that they just have no idea of! Like, there are people (specially women), I know who pretend to be a sports lovers and why? Just to prove themselves smart in a group of few men! There are genuine sports lovers as well, no doubt.  But you can easily differentiate them from the pretentious ones . God, why the hell do you have to fake your interests. If you dont like something, you dont! Accept it...  and That will really make people around you respect you rather than talking senseless about something you have no idea about.

You know, all of them have one thing in common:  They are obsessed with showing off something or the other they don't have or something that they can't afford to own or something that they possessed with a lot of struggle and difficulty. They would just harangue you with tirade of their stories without even caring if you care to listen or not

I was once sitting with a group of girls and believe me, I was bored and annoyed to death! All they spoke about for more than an hour was the brand of perfumes, lipsticks, eyeshadow, dresses they use and they own! And yes, from which country they got it from. Its a very down market thing to wear anything "Indian made" for such ladies! I mean I am not saying I don't like talking about these things but please I cant do that all the time!

Whats wrong with such kind of people? Are they that short of sensible topics to discuss? Why do everyone want to live and want to get applauded for these superficial materialistic things?

You know its really not bad to tell people about your achievements. No! But only when it is done in a subtle way. Infact it is appreciating. But how on earth, could bragging about all the branded worldly things that you own, be valued? Why and how can it be welcomed? Its irritating, its nauseating, its annoying! And what greatness do one feel by showing off! I feel pity on these people who live a pretentious life! I guess, all they do and think for the whole day is about what and how to tell people about the new stuff that they bought, the latest charity they did and worst of all in case there is nothing excited happened, all they do is mull over their heads in building up and creating a new story! What a pity and gloomy life these people live! They miss out all the real and beautiful things around them in this erroneous ambush! They are so busy with their pretentious life, they just forget about the true world!

Do you know all this self bragging all the time, makes you a very repulsive person. May be its just wired inside few people but try to get out of this fatal  trap. It turns you into a very boring, disgusting, filthy person. People around you starts ignoring you, they begin to run away from you and for all you know, they would be making fun of you behind your back.

So, next time you brag, please think about the listener. If you can't stop torturing their ears, atleast give them some time to trouble their mouths so that their ears can relax and be refreshed for another round from you!

Keep smiling!

“When heard someone's boasting, I could smell shit of bull from afar.”
― Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Commoditization of grooms!

There is a cousin of mine who is on the verge of crossing her marriageable age, well at least according to all my relatives and acquaintances. BTW, she is just 25! That can be another topic of discussion! Rather 'hot' topic of discussion. But let's leave it for some other time for now.

The lame marriage Interview!
Anyways, yeah so all our family members have this unstated, tacit and grave responsibility to hunt for a suitable groom for her. Last week, followed by this imperative call and need of the hour, few of the family members went to meet a guy and his family.

I was simply shocked to death to know what happened there because I just haven't expected this in times like today when I thought everything and everybody have changed.

The guy's family dint ask anything about the girl, apart from the very basic questions, the answers of which they were already aware of. Yes, because the answers of few penned (in an invisible diary!) questions are inevitable to be revealed before even any such talks begin.

Anyways, so they made no efforts to show any kind of curiosity in knowing anything special about the girl who apparently would become their daughter in law! Questions like what does she like, what her hobbies are etc. They did not even take any pain in describing the kind of girl they are looking forward to or at least the kind of qualities they would love their daughter in law to possess.
This was about the parents and other family members.  Now coming to the boy, strange it is to say and to know that even he had no questions pertaining to his future wife!

Now, the important question that arises here is that what did these two families discussed then. Obviously if two families are meeting with such huge a purpose like this, they would have certainly not sit quietly. They would have spoken about some imperative stuff. Right? Well, let me tell you what important things they had to talk and ask about:

Their son had been to London And they bragged about it for hours!

Their daughter was in US and they again boasted about it.

Is going to London and US such a big deal in today's world????? And if that is a big deal for you Sir, it shows your standards!

Their son gave them some huge amount of money after coming back from London.

Apart from all the monotonous bragging and boasting, below were the things that made a important part of the discussion:

They were looking forward to one thing: the wedding has to be done in a way that it should uphold their honor in the society (what does that mean???) Well, it simply means to give them good amount of stuff, in materialistic terms, so that they can show off how worthy their son is.

Gold jewelry to be given to a daughter is an unavoidable expense. But still, they wanted to know how much would we be able to afford!

A luxury car for our girl, not for them off course! They wouldn't use it at all!

They dint want anything in dowry (woww, applause...) Come on, what they asked for is not dowry, they are customary gifts, a part of the wedding routine of our enriched culture!

And the discussion just went through all this. They did not even care to ask anything about the family.

Sorry state of our society
I wonder whats wrong with people? They have no self respect left. They don't mind begging and imploring for materialistic things in exchange of their son. Well, its not even a fair exchange! Here, a daughter leaves her parent's house, not a son and even, for that they need their houses to be filled with luxuries. At times, I feel like these kind of families start assessing and calculating the value of the sons, the moment they are born. Or is this the reason why few people crave for a son?

There is a kind of competition out there. Believe me! And that too a very hilarious one. One fat aunty sitting outside her house, on the road, would brag to all the ladies in the neighborhood  'Our son got this much cash, and this huge a car and a washing machine and a fridge and blah blah... (the list would be never ending)'. Another one would scream "Oh! My son also got a sofa, bed, scooter, dining table, dressing table and blah blah with all this".

I feel astonished were they living without all these basic things, all these essential necessities and waiting for their sons to get married and were expecting their daughter in law to flood their houses with all these luxuries? Oh yeah? I just have one word for this...  Disgraceful!

Why don't they beg and brag about more useable things like utensils, table, chairs, spoons, soaps, buckets, toilet brushes, tissue papers, towels, mops etc? They should... Right?

And instead of feeling disgraced and embarrassed, these families are swollen with pride! They show all these  possessions to the complete world with so much smugness as if they have earned it! Oh yeah, they have actually earned it by selling their son. And these materialistic things are kept on an exhibition for everyone to witness!

It's just not old generation!
To get this crappy thing from old generation is still explicable. I mean its expected out of them but what about people from this generation. I am actually feeling furious about that idiotic son of theirs! Did I mention that this idiot is very well educated and is employed in one of the largest MNCs and resides in a metro city. Yes! Can you believe it?

What is the use of studying and working in a MNC, if you can't have basic common sense and profound approach and awareness for such perceptive and sensitive things.

Must I mention that these idiots are just simply delinquents and crooks? I wish there was some law against anti-social and reckless thinking! Guys, please stop begging and at least have the self respect of earning materialistic things on your own.

Do you even realize how much pain it is for few parents to get their daughters married? Many of them would have to take a loan to fill your house with these comforts and then, their complete life goes off in paying off that loan! Bizarre demands like these from ridiculous people like you compel a daughter to become a burden on her parents! Stop it guys. What is the difference between a man asking for dowry to get married and a prostitute asking for money to have sex?

Are few materialistic things bigger than your ego, your self-respect? They will die away with time eventually and its just your respect that's going to survive. Make a choice: An honor that will remain with you forever or few materialistic things that would just last for few years or may be few decades.
Come on make a sensible, intelligent, reasonable, admirable and a praiseworthy choice. A choice that would help you to keep your head always high, that would compel this world to admire you, to respect you, a choice that would make you earn your honor.

BTW, our family came back with a loud and very strident NO. Every dowry demand (directly or indirectly) is a death threat. Walk away! Rather run away!

Keep smiling:)

Monday, January 13, 2014

I am not yours...

I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.

You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.

Oh plunge me deep in love -- put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.

                                              - Sara Teasdale

A Teaspoon of Earth and Sea - Dina Nayeri

I finished this novel in a very short span of time as compared to what I take to read others. I am really finding it so difficult to hunt for the correct superlatives that can describe what and how this novel made me feel. It left an everlasting impact on me like many others based on stories set in some part of the middle east. May be I am fascinated with the same.

Anyways, I want to begin with saying that its just a fine treasure of fascinating dreams weaved together to create an impeccable story.

Its gripping, enthralling and mesmerizing. It has the power of taking the reader to some other world, the world of beautiful dreams of Saba (the protagonist), hostile and intimidating realities of Iran and author's astounding imagination.

This is a story of Saba, an eleven-year-old girl, who grew up in a small village in Iran in 80s. Her mother and sister disappears, leaving Saba and her father alone in Iran. Saba is certain that they have moved to America without her. And Saba starts conjuring Mahtab through her imaginations, a major part of which is born out of  illegal magazines, television shows, and rock music which she loves to collect. She starts creating beautiful stories about her sister's life in the Western world. She made Mahtab a western version of hers.

While growing up in the tenderness of the community of her local village, she struggles with the limited possibilities in post-revolutionary Iran. When Saba’s world has all the grit and viciousness of the real life under the new Islamic regime, imaginations of her sister’s life in US started giving her wings of freedom that Saba could only dream of. Saba envisions that there is another way for her story to unfold.

This novel exploits the power of imagination to heal the reader's psychological needs. The story and the characters surely touches the reader deeply with such an intensity that leaves you astonished

Its emotional, beautiful, captivating, imaginative, creative, full of dreams, impeccable, enchanting, remarkable and just so marvelously bewitching and profoundly meaningful. And if these are the things that you, as a reader look forward to while reading a novel, this novel would surely prove to be a treat for you and for your senses:)

Go ahead and you will not be disappointed.


Grass is green everywhere

It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.
- Charles Spurgeon

You would have surely heard this very famous and over used phrase which goes like this: The grass is always greener on the other side

Like everyone, even I was bored to death of receiving the same monotonous answer every time I used to talk about change with someone.

But then, few days back I realized how true this one single fact is! This one single fact which is considered a cliché and is taken with total contempt, holds the key to our happiness. Well, it does! We just fail to observe that grass has the same green color on our end as well. Let me try to throw some light on it with a personal example of mine.

In whatever job I had been, its just been so difficult for me to satisfy the untamed urge residing inside me, that was never contented. I mean after getting into a job I just used to start missing my last job. I always used to feel infatuated towards other jobs and other's jobs as well and this trait always denied me from enjoying my current work! I feel pity on myself.

I had developed this tendency of seeing and appreciating the positives of the other side and only compare the negatives of my current situation with it. BTW, most of these negatives were just conjured and insinuated by my forlorn mind.  Obviously the positive, happy or rather 'green' side would any day look lucrative. It started killing me from inside. I ended up being a very unhappy, irritated, murky, depressed, always cribbing, negative and a very dejected person who started disdaining life. Now, who loves to be with such a person! Life and everything about it begun to look so mundane, so insipid to me. But when these things started initiating a change in my personality, it raised an alarm within me. I knew that something was wrong. And it was then when I analyzed the whole situation, I realized I was fool enough not to compare an apple with an apple. I was just being so preposterous. My senses were just working contrary to reason.

The first thing that I did was listing down all the awesome things around me, about my job, about my life, about the people around me and believe me, I felt so relieved, so happy and so blessed. I just don't miss anything in life now. Its perfect! Hey BTW, am I sounding like those horrible ads that run across all the channels after 12 in the night, the ones that naively proclaims the before and after effects of some stupid, idiotic product!!! Whatever...

Its essential to comprehend the importance of what you have, what you hold and only then, you can appreciate the value of life. Push yourself to come out of this grotesque labyrinth that would eventually kill your happiness, if left untamed. It would change you from inside without you even knowing it. It would turn you into a terrible, frustrating and a miserable person. And I am sure, nobody would want to end up there, and that too being alone. Alone? Alone because as I mentioned above as well nobody wants to be in the company of such people who just spread negativity around them. Infact people with the same horrible traits will try to run away from you!

So, try to see the 'green' grass on your end. I even thought of trying one more technique to make me look at the brighter side of my current life. I thought of observing the negatives of the other end and then, compare and try to appreciate what I have this side. But then, why to bring in negatives at all in this whole ecosystem. No need. See the positives of the both the ends. And even then, you will be able to appreciate the good things you have currently and this will make you love where you stand now. It will fill you with confidence and self-belief.

And BTW, this applies to everything in life. Everything! Love your life. You just get it once and its just too short to crib about what you don't have.I know its hardwired within us to notice the happiness of what we dont have. But then, whenever your mind pushes you to that end, just rebuke it, ask it to shut up and listen to your heart, take a cup of coffee, pick some amazing book, sit in a balcony and enjoy and cherish the moments. You will fall in love with life! Believe me. It worked for me. I am sure, it will work for you as well. All you have to do is eradicate all the negatives thought and change them to positives ones:)

There is this movie which I watched few months ago, called To Rome with love, where one of the characters Leopoldo lives a mundane life with his wife and two children until on fine day when he wakes up one morning to discover that he has become a national celebrity. Paparazzi started documenting his every move. Initially he loves it and enjoys it but then, gradually it wears on him. He started craving for his old life, the boring one. And it happens! Media abandons Leopoldo when they found someone more interesting than him. At first, Leopoldo welcomes the return to his old life. But then, one day he breaks down when no one asks for his autograph on the road. And that's the lesson of the movie: Life can be monotonous and wearying whether one is a celebrity or a normal man.

It just how you chose to live it:) You can choose to be happy or you are also free to choose the other way:)

Keep smiling alwaz... It takes nothing!

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Dalai Lama