Friday, September 25, 2015

Having Kids: Why or Why not....



And... today  I would be writing something really controversial, something that might give constipation to many, something after which I might be thought to be crazy!

Anyways, I write what I feel...

Being married has many advantages, and the amazing and beautiful ones (uncountable, I tell you!), but one thing that I detest about this institution would be I guess that just after a year or so, everybody around you start asking about your plans for kids, and this lot include your friends as well. After a while, you start feeling as if you were married just for having kids!

And this curious question becomes more annoying when it gets transformed to "Do you have any health issues which is preventing you from having a baby?" 

And this is something not just me, but many of my friends are also going through. And now, out of compulsion I have started playing with these people who ask me this question by throwing another question at them, why... why 'should' I have kids?

And trust me the answers will amaze you like hell!

The worst or the most creative, the epic and the most different answer that I ever got to hear is: To give a reason to your husband to come back home! If there is a kid at home, he will have to come back home. He can't go anywhere. 

And trust me, when I heard this one, I don't know exactly what I wanted to do at that time: kill myself, kill the person who told me this, kill both of us or just run away far from these idiots! I mean, sorry I would never want to have a kid for  this reason! And yes, thank God for not giving me this excuse to have kids!

Another answer: To take care of you when you are old! Oh really, do you think people after some 30-40 years will even have the courtesy to look back at their parents, leave taking care of them alone. If you take an example of this generation, most of them I see, leave the house after 12th and they never look back! At least they are nice enough to visit their parents once or twice a year, call them once or twice a week, send them gifts once or twice occasionally, but then is it enough to be called as 'taking care of your parents'? No... And moreover, its hard for the parents to leave everything and settle somewhere else with their children, at that age! And the next generation will obviously be some steps ahead of us. Then, how and why should I expect, that my kid who would belong to that generation, will take care of me and my husband.

Another Answer: To have a successor, to take our family name forward. Oh yes, we are from the families of Akbar's and Einsteins that the world would lose something big and remarkable if we do not have successors!

And moreover, one has no idea how the world will be, like after few decades. It might get better because of technological advancements. But then, it will have its own bunch of larger issues to worry about as well. If you compare today with say 50 years back, there are already so many distressing changes like diseases (rather variety of diseases) are more common, Non-renewable sources are already on the verge of extinction, Natural calamities have increased by folds in just last few decades, Global warming is on a rise, most of the countries are either under war or going through cold war! I am definitely not being pessimistic or something, but then that's the truth we all have to face. The kind of damage we humans have caused to our planet in just last few decades, is beyond repair. In fact there is a theory which says that it is bound to happen, even if humans doesn't do any harm or damage because that's how it works, one species rule, gets extinct and then comes another one... 

You would be thinking what's the correlation between having a kid and the world's increasing issues. There is a bit of connotation, though. I usually jog my brain on why would I want to bring my child in a world, about which I know all this. Why should I? Will it be a better place for my kid to survive? Why would I want to bring a kid when I know s/he might have to struggle throughout, may be even for basic necessities like water? 

On the other hand, there are millions of orphans out there, who have already taken birth and so, they will have to go through all this anyways, why can't  and shouldn't I just adopt one and make this journey of him/her a little better, a little bearable? In fact just think if every couple, rather than having their own babies and contributing to the increasing population, just adopt a child, how much better the place this earth would become? I know now, its weird, wild, abnormal, insane, horrifying and synonyms of all these adjectives. But then, think rationally, I am sure, it will help us in everything. They say that the increasing population is the biggest culprit of all the nature related problems. And we would be getting rid of that culprit!

I read somewhere, how our planet would be in next 50 years and few of the pointers were:

1. The world population will be over 9 billion. Disease will be more common, as everybody will be physically closer to everyone else, and chronic food shortages may be the norm. (So, why shouldn't we at least try to control the population???)

2.We'll also have to start cutting down on our energy consumption: If humankind continues to use energy at the rate it does now, and population growth follows expected trends, we will need the equivalent of three earths to support ourselves by 2050. Which is, obviously, impossible!!!! Now, would you want your baby to go through all that crunches, all that pain? 

3. They say, as far as global warming  is concerned, the Dead Sea will be almost completely dried up, nearly half of the Amazon rainforest will have been deforested, wildfires will spread like anything and the polar ice caps will be only 60 percent the size they are now. 

4. Superhurricanes will become a regular occurrence (Last nail in the coffin!)

Imagine if we, humans are able to control the population, half of these issues will be gone! And maybe we will gain some more millenniums to live, live in a much better place, in a much better way

Its not easy to explain this to people, its not easy to tell people not to have their own children. Actually they might take it as an offense, their ego might get hurt. But if we all know, we will have to perish one day then why this arrogance, why this ego? Why burden earth with more and more people! Why killing it further...

If children is what we need, then let's adopt! We will be making someone's life and we will also be helping our planet with not over-burdening it.

P.S. The most monotonous answer to my question "Why to have kids" had been "That's how it works! That's what you are supposed to do!!! I mean, hello! Excuse me! Just because I am a woman and God has given me this power doesn't mean I am just suppose to do THIS!

10 comments:

  1. liked it...didnt few people answer saying your parents need grandkids around.

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    1. hahahha.... That excuse is always there! Thanks for dropping by :) Glad you liked it...

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  2. My take Para by Para:
    Para 1: Husbands will come home either way, kids at home or not. It’s the kids who will be lonely if their parents not around. It’s surely not the reason to have kids but surely not the reason to not have kids.
    Para 2: Life is too lengthy at times. Nobody knows who will reach old age and who will not. What you give is what you get! Life is not about what happens in the future, it’s in the present. Forget about kids taking care of yourself, whats the guarantee that you will take good care of yourself? If you see dark days in future do you intend to kill yourself? Surely Not. Lets not make assumption our daily bread, Lets be optimists.
    Para 3: Yes surely not the reason for having kids but also vice versa.
    Para 4: Great thoughts global warming, natural calamities, change in human, extinction…. Ah hha the pessimist’s paradise I say. Kids are not born to live in this world of pessimism but change the future and make it beautiful.People must have kids, train him/her the best way and make him/her the answer to all the above problems. Self thinking could just stop the answer the world has been waiting for since ages. By the way even we and our parents are also about to face these global problems and as a kid have we done something? Not my business though, but self reflection is as important. Your articles have been beautifully optimistic till day …let not negativity rule you.

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    1. Hi Anonymous,

      Thanks for taking the pain of replying back to my post, para by para. I wish I had your personal mail ID and I would have sent the reply to you (to ensure it reaches you). Now, I really hope you come back to see this reply…

      Anyways, I would not go para by para. Would just like to put my thoughts forward. These are very personal views, based on my (and few of my friends) experiences. I am the last person on this earth to have pessimistic thoughts, as you have also mentioned similar kind of thing in your comment. But then, I am also realistic and practical. Really! Yes, people must have kids and train them the best way… wait, do we really have the power and the authority to make sure this happens? To make sure that each and every child is bought up in the way you mentioned? Can you and me guarantee that? If yes, then obviously all my claims stay baseless. But the world is too vast to be directed into one direction.

      I am not being pessimistic, but I have given my own points of changes that ARE HAPPENING in our environment, and will pursue to happen. And most of them are happening because of population growth. Can we close our eyes to them and stay happy like a closed eye pigeon who imagines that nobody is going to attack it? If we will be relying on making our children give the answers to these problems (as you mentioned) and do nothing about it, then I am sorry to say I doubt something will happen. Even our forefathers could have thought so, and? Nothing happened…. The situation got deteriorated.

      BTW, I have tried to give a very positive msg, of adopting kids, and I don’t see any negativity there.. Really. And I never said sponsoring. I said adopt and I said if all of us adopt even a single kid, don’t you think we will be able to make enough lives??? All I want to say is one generation, may be should do this sacrifice to balance the population and the old thing can continue again from the next generation.

      Mother earth has given us the power to produce children, but not to over-burden it. We are killing it, every day, every night, not just earth, we are even killing other beings. Why? And I guess I will differ with you here where you said, its your duty to make her (earth) win, by producing more amazing children. 1. Where is it written, where is it mentioned? And 2. Mother earth has given this power/duty to all the beings on planets. Everything done within a limit is always good, but excess of nothing is good… And that’s all I want to say. Nowhere in my post, I have written to finish us off, all I want to say is now its high time, we think and work on balancing our planet, by controlling the population.

      BTW, regarding the china thing, now you have seen the pessimistic side of a policy. Let me tell you the optimistic or the positive side of this policy: Since introducing the policy more than 30 years ago, China claims it has prevented 400 million births and the worsening of many social, environmental and economic problems.
      There are two sides to every story. We must just try to see the most practical side.
      Now just imagine if China had not implemented that policy back then and these 400 million births would have taken place. You tell me would China have become a happier society with the bursting population? What do you think about the natural resources? Just imagine how much consumption would have increased? Why consumption, how much emission of waste and CO2 would have increased? Do you think these things are easy to handle and control? What would they eat, what would they wear, where would they get the water to drink, wash, and bathe? And what do you think, their quality of life would have got better? If we do not try to control the population and try to put the blame on mother earth, calling it as a blessing, then how do you propose we solve the global warming problem. Whenever the Global Warming conference is in session, there are lots of talks and questions about how China should curb the emissions. Now, what should China do and solve these issues?

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    2. All I said was, rather than producing your OWN children, adopt one. There are tens of thousands of orphans out there, who need good house, good education, better future. There are millions of dirty, emaciated children scavenging through garbage and begging at traffic lights. All I said was rather than having our own children lets adopt one child and make his/her life. This will help us in both ways.
      Plz realize that the Earth has limited resources, and there might not be simply enough for the increasing population.

      I still see it as a very positive message… Sorry for putting it in just one reply :)

      Also, thanks again for dropping by and analysing my points. People can hold different point of views and I respect and appreciate the same. The only thing is attimes it is important to see things in a very realistic and practical way...

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  3. Para 5: ‘Struggle’ has many meaning battle,fight, strive, brawl,tussle and continues…..all the violent deed makes up. But you will be more surprised by its antonyms which are accord, idleness, laziness, SUCCESS, Peace, calm…. And continues. This is such a word which has both positive and negatives things in both in its synonym and as well as antonym. One sentence will suffice i.e. we all struggle hard all our life to achieve success. People must have kids, let him/her strive and achieve success in curing this world of global warming, extinction, successor to your beautiful knowledge- let not waste, so that he can teach the husbands to be punctual with or with your kids, and for the endless possibilities.
    Para6: This para gets as beautiful as annoying and pessimistic were yours initials paras. Congratulations! In answering I may get little personal here but no offence intended. There is difference between sponsoring children and adopting them. The concerns that you have raised can be handled in proper way by sponsoring and not adopting. Your thoughts are more inclined towards to sponsoring. By sponsoring you can help 20, 30, or even 100 children if someone really wants to solve their problem. But adoption will only solve problem of one. Which is better? Obviously not my call. An optimist would say I will be have 2 kids but look after 100 more and a pessimist will say population itself is the crime. An optimist will say I will teach 100 to solve problems of 100 more and pessimist will say 100 are the crime. We are born to be part of the population and not to finish it. We are to make the lives of our fellow men better.
    Sub Para 1; whoever has told you this already has access to sanjivni- that mysterious plant. I say this because the person believes only in birth rate and not morality rate.
    Subpara2: No but make the kid the answer to the problems.
    Subpara3: That will happen even if the kid doesn’t come and yes you can always keep yourself away from dead sea, amazon rainforest, wildfires, and ice caps. Also you can plant to avoid deforestation and also have 1000 kids to make them plant as well.
    Subpara4: Avoid watching movies and be indoor and do not visit the tropical areas like the caribbeans ,parts of US etc there are other beautiful tourists places to go on vacation.
    China has already tried controlling the population and results have been disastrous. By the way they have already started easing the norms.By 2070 china will turn lazy, sadistic, boring, sex-selective abortion will be high, infanticide, distorted sex ratio, poverty,human rights violations, interest in working life will decrease and many more. I don’t want to get political.
    Earth is mother earth our own mother nature, so pure and simple. But she also sometimes gets angry and puts her fury on us. But she is without arrogance, because she is here that we all are here and not vice versa. We are her creation, and if she would think us as burden she would have never created us in the first place. Yes we owe her a lot and may be people are not giving her back as they should but don’t worry she is not egoistic and not pessimistic as well. She will never stop creating amazing people like you and she also works like the relay race. She has passed the baton to you and it’s your duty to make her win—by producing more amazing children like the mother earth.
    To have kids or not have kids are personal matters and most arguments are personal.
    People must not think of having kids but creating people.

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