Tuesday, October 9, 2018

#metoo

Writing after ages... could not stop myself from penning down something on #metoo movement!

This whole #metoo thing is certainly scary, actually the incidents are so terrifying! 

Growing up I used to think that it's only me who gets assaulted, I used to blame myself thinking maybe I do something wrong, maybe my behavior (unusually chirpy) push people to behave absurdly with me... I remember while walking on the road, my Mom used to say look down and walk but even then I used to get a spank on my bums (yes! Ask any girl in UP and they will tell you it's very very common). Why just bums, if you walk without covering your chest with your books, they would not even shy away from touching your breasts and sometimes, spanking them so badly that it would pain for hours! Does it sound weird? Not to us - the small town girls! And you want to hear more - we have seen people randomly coming and masturbating in front of our eyes at an age when we didn't even know what actually was happening... yes! 


And we used to go through this trauma almost every single day - without discussing it with anyone till the time we used to get used to all this - till it becomes a part of our life!

I am not even counting the incidents involving absurd and horrendous comments, songs, gestures, and all the non-touching assaults! They were like nothing to us - so common, so unusual! And I am not even talking about the abuse that we had to go through in childhood - that's another topic itself and will need another great movement for us to start addressing it... 


For a long long time, I kept mum... why? Because I thought it is only me being molested and assaulted... I never thought anyone would be able to relate to me, to my horrifying stories... 

No! Then I realized its almost every girl in my gang... and that is when we gradually started sharing our stories - the pain, the torture! And we became each other’s shoulders to lean on for sharing everything and even that was heaven for us! 

Then... for a long long time, I thought it was only us - small town girls

But again today - after years I realized that no - it's almost every girl who goes through this - the pain, the unnecessary trauma, the torture... 

There are so many scary accounts there, so many stories that are unfolding that are enough to send chills through your spine! 

But now, let’s face the reality - the other side. I am reading about so many stories on social media these days. Almost all platforms are filled with me too stories - some are really scary but then - there are women posting the screenshots of their chats with guys - where it’s just some flirting! Or men are giving some compliment or asking them out! This is for those women - really? Can u compare these stupid things with the real assault that women are facing? It's for them - Do NOT dilute this initiative, do not make it another thing that people will start making fun of... because of these accounts - people will not be able to understand the intensity of the real instances. Do not make it another failed attempt of women trying to voice out against society! Please do not dilute this whole thing! 

Also please do not make it an attempt of taking a revenge for your sour love stories! 

Do not label all men a monster... and do not let them label all women as dramebaaz... do not let them label feminism as some selfish initiative by women...

Stand with women who were actually harassed, who really had gone through the real pain! 

If someone is flirting with you on chat - block them! If you continue chatting - it means you are also the part of that crime (if that’s what it is!)... You have options of blocking people over the phone, but when a woman is sexually assaulted physically- it’s traumatic! It’s painful! You do not have many options to get escaped there! 

Do not dilute it... do not! I am not denying the fact that flirting can be daunting but can u compare it with rape? Or with someone touching your body parts without your permission? No... right? 

Let us all - women take this initiative forward and help the women who have ‘really’ been harassed ... let us fight the society against all odds - only we together can do it! Let us not miss out on it this time... yet again!

x


Thursday, January 18, 2018

Can you? Will you?


“People don’t like love, they like that flittery flirty feeling. They don’t love love - love is sacrificial, love is ferocious, it’s not emotive. Our culture doesn’t love love, it loves the idea of love. It wants the emotion without paying anything for it." ― Matt Chandler
Probably this is true and I actually believe in it very strongly.
It's not love what people look out for - its jus that infatuation, those butterflies in the stomach, that excitement, that thrill, that desperation, that anticipation. Actually more than half of the love stories meet an unpleasant and terrible end, the moment all this enthusiasm and drama is gone from a relationship. Sad! but true. We no more (not generalizing), have those 'forever' happy afters. We no more have those relationships with the promise of being together for 7 births. 

We don't even understand this word we use so frequently, called ‘Love’... its just not an emotion, its just not a feeling. It's beyond that. I believe its the strongest emotion of all, stronger than hate and jealousy as well. All the other emotions make a person go through just one kind of feeling. When you hate a person, you just abhor them - negative feeling. It can never be positive. Same is with anger, sadness, and all the other emotions.

But love - One emotion that carries the burden of both the sides. That will give you happiness and will fill your life with sorrows. Its something that can be your biggest strength, but will fail you miserably by being your the biggest weakness too! It will prove to be the biggest blessing for you but will also come as the biggest curse in your life... It will be the biggest truth and yet the biggest lie. Love is the biggest myth and yet, the biggest reality...

It will take you to the peaks of ecstasy and will also throw u in the dungeons of sorrow and pain, it will make you, create you, mould you, yet it has the capacity to damage u forever, that too damage you in a way which would be irreparable...
It might help u in stitching back all ur broken pieces yet it might unsew every inch of your soul and leave ur wounds open and unsewable!
Love is an experience of both the sides... Half of the people just run away the moment good side is over... but real love, it begins after that... after all that excitement... After all that happiness. And that's the challenge- to stay there - loyal even after all that is gone... Can you? Will you?



Monday, January 15, 2018

Padmavati, oops Padmavat Row

I just happened to stroll by my blog today after an year and guess what, I got so many surprises. Few of them are listed below:

1. The number of views has increased by leaps and bounds
2. Getting more comments on my posts like never before
3. I am still getting good average views per day, despite the fact that I have not written from last one year.

But... but the biggest surprise was - I wrote about Padmavati row just one year before, on 28th Jan' 17... and here I am, on this blog (accidentally) exactly after one year, and the topic remains the same - Padmavati.

I mean, seriously for us a movie is a such a huge issue that we stretched it for one year? ONE FULL YEAR... I mean, even Nirbhaya (i believe the worst thing that happened to our nation in recent times), was also forgotten in about 3-4 months. People stopped protesting and went back to their regular lives in just a few days and here we are, shamelessly dragging an irrelevant issue for over a year now.

Today I read that  "Kshatriya Women Threatening a 'Jauhar' If 'Padmaavat' Release Not Stopped". Where were these women when girls are being rapped in our country? Why don't they come forward and threaten a Jauhar or a protest and demand a reasonable punishment for the culprits?

I am not denying, absolutely not denying the cause or sentiments or feelings behind the Padmavati protests. But all I fail to understand is why don't we show the same sincerity, the same zeal for other important issues? Why? We are fighting tooth and nail for a woman who is gone centuries before, why and why can't we fight for the women who are still alive, who are raped and left to suffer. Why don't we fight for the laws to be made more strict and harsher for the rapists? Why?

I wish we had shown the same honesty in dealing and fighting for issues that are far more grave, far more threatening than fighting for saving a part of our history. If that had been the case, we would have become a better society long back.

You know why we are where we are? Because we still live in the past and just do not want to look at our future. Because we are ready to die for people who are gone long back, but ignore who still breathe. Because we care for those who are irrelevant now and do not care about the ones who matter. Because... we are hypocrites. Yes, we are!