Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Its not over yet!!!

Ahhhhh… All the troubles seem like never ending for me this year! I am seriously waiting for this year to end as now, I feel that my limit to deal with all this is almost coming to a saturation point!

I believe myself to be a very optimistic person; always believe that nothing in this world has the power to bring me down! But however sometimes I feel I am tired of fighting with all the politics, nonsense and the cons of working in the corporate world!

I have faced enormous amount of nonsense in my last company despite giving my 100% to work in terms of commitment and dedication. But then one day I decided not to take it any more and moved on! Then, I joined another organization with a new hope that now I could work without being a victim to the politics. Yes, I certainly managed to keep a considerable distance with all the crap happening in office. I changed my approach here, used to come to office, finish my work and then leave for home. Nothing else!

I used to be a very happy go lucky person in my previous company but then, here (in my new organisation) I never crossed my limits! Always behaved like an introvert, though it is completely against my very nature! I am somebody to whom quietly sitting at one place for more than an hour can be a very harsh punishment! You know, what used to the toughest part for me during exams? It was to sit quietly for 3 hours at one place. Sometimes, I used to just leave the hall after 2 hours or so because it was just not in my nature to sit calm and quiet

But here I tried to control myself and have always behaved like an introvert, I really don’t know why…  May be I somewhere got to feel from my previous organization’s experience that being loud, being what you are, being an extrovert simply doesn’t work while working for a MNC. You have to show as if you are a very calm person then only people believe that you are professional and mature. What a hypocrisy!!! This change in my outlook is a gift to me from my previous company!

But even after doing all the possible things to end my troubles, I am unable to control them! In this new company, there are new problems, new issues and new things to deal with like proving myself from the scratch again, like gelling with a new batch of different kind of people, dealing with the layoff trauma and witnessing that stressful environment when layoffs are about to happen, giving an interview all over again and that too, for proving that I am worth it for the current job! Everyone would have had the experience of giving an interview for a new job, but now I can proudly say that I even had a lifetime experience of giving an interview to save my existing job! Woaaaa…. I am surely gonna add this achievement to my resume:P

I am certainly not scared about the job. I can sit at home till whatever time I wish to! And this is one of the fabulous privileges which comes automatically to you if you are a woman! I am just little upset by all the bad phases which I have been going through since long and that too, because of other people…

Sometimes, I just want to break free, free from all this crap… I feel like going to some place where there are no idiotic people to make your life hell, where there is only goodness, where I can be what I am, where I dont have to fight everyday for my existence, where I dont have to prove myself again and again!

But then as they popularly say, In this big wide world: you have to breathe here, you have to smile here, you have to cry here, you have to live here and you have to die here! 

And so I have to keep myself telling and reminding that its not over yet because winter’s brutal cold always gets followed by the abundance of summer's soothing heat, the night: however dark, is followed by the bright dawn!
Because everything in this world works in a cycle! Everything and every situation changes. From worse to better. Better to relapse again! Yes, and that’s the protocol…

And also, I am a very strong believer of one thing that whatever happens, happens for a reason! The flowers that get withered and then, fall actually fall to carpet the ground...

And so, when this situation is not everlasting, then why should I get distressed! I know I will be able to come out of all this crap soon… I know i will deal with it bravely! I know that and this makes me smile, makes me confident! I know I will be the winner at last…  

A popular hindi movie dialogue goes: "Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!"

So, keep smiling alwazJ

Friday, August 26, 2011

I don’t want to leave this world!!!

Tuesday was a sad day for us! We got to know about the demise of one of my friend's cousin. It was so distressing, painful and disheartening.

I dint knew him, I never met him but still, I felt a pain. He was just 26 years old and died of a heart attack. His 3 arteries were blocked! He was a non smoker, a veggie, somebody who used to drink occasionally! Then, how come it happened? Nobody had the answer.

I just couldn’t imagine what his parents would have gone through after knowing about him, after knowing that their son would never be with them now, after knowing that their journey together, which was meant to be forever (at least for them) has ended in just 26 years!

He came back from his home town to Delhi, (after a break) on the very same day of his death. Imagine, while seeing him off, his mom would have never ever imagined that that was the last time she was seeing her only son. She would have been praying for her son’s safety throughout his journey from his home town till Delhi. I couldn’t imagine the pain which his helpless parents would have gone through.

When my friend told me about the whole incident, there was one thing that jolted me completely from inside, which made the tears flow from my eyes! And that was while his colleagues were taking him to hospital, on the way, he simply told them that ‘I don’t want to die, I don’t want to leave this world!’

I wish he would have survived that massive heart attack! I wish he was alive!

But there is one thing which indeed is little abstruse here, his three arteries were blocked and the first sign he got was a massive heart attack which took his life… Is that possible? How come he never got a hint of his blocked arteries in the past? Guess, he would have also ignored it as we all do. We have a tendency to ignore pains especially in the young age! And yes, one more thing I have always noticed that we Indians love to blame gastric problems for every pain… He also must have got some small or big pain, some sort of hint from his body. If he would have seen a doctor at the right time, guess he would have been alive today!

So, here is what I concluded: If you feel anything weird, if you feel any unusual pain: see a doctor immediately! It doesn’t matter whether you are young or old, whether you drink and smoke or not, whether you suffered from any disease in the past or not, whether you are fit or unfit! If you feel anything unusual with your body, please do not ignore and see a specialist whatever it takes. Our body has a tendency to let us know if anything strange happens to it, it tries to communicate us about anything it feels is peculiar! Then why don’t we try to understand this indication, this hint and act accordingly on time!

So, understand your body’s language, listen to it, understand the hints (big or small) which it gives you when it feels something wrong and then, cure them before it becomes too late, before these "small and strange hints" turns into something incurable and destructive! Now I know the true meaning of the famous idiom: Cure is better than precaution!

Be safe, be happy! Keep smiling...

Being a Woman!

They say I am a die-hard feminist! And at times I even get criticized for being one. Not only men even certain women think that feminism is not something to which one should be so obessesed to.

But I am what I am, and I love what I love! I believe that women possess certain beautiful natural qualities that are inborn. And I am sure everyone will agree to that. Everyone would have observed these qualities in their moms, sisters, girlfriends, daughters, wives and would have definately appreciated them.

Few of these qualities which come first and automatically to my mind when I think of the word ‘woman’ are: Beauty, Love, Balanced, Sincerity, conviction, passion, emotional, courageous!

But I have no idea why society has labeled all these qualities as “weaknesses”.  Believe me possessing these qualities is not at all a sign of being weak! In fact a woman should be proud of the fact that a man has to actually learn and earn these characteristics while we women have them, own them and possess them as a gift from God! Don’t you think its little unjustified to denounce these characteristics as weaknesses? Don’t you think we women should be proud of owning them?

God has granted a different set of qualities to both men and women. I feel a man is dominated by his mind and a woman: by her delicate heart. A man has inborn qualities of being a warrior. They are rough,  tough, strong and egoistic! I have seen almost every man is proud of inheriting these qualities then why can’t we women feel proud of our set of inherent qualities!

I am somebody who is simply in love with the fact that I am a woman, a proud possessor of these inborn qualities which I use in managing my family, my friends, my professional life, my work, my colleagues, my relatives and everything and everybody in this whole wide world! These qualities have, undoubtedly defined me as a daughter, a sister, a wife, a lover, a daughter-in-law, a friend, an employee, a worker, a family maker, a best friend (and the list is endless!) These qualities have really helped me to deal with all the problems, issues, tough phases and hurdles which life threw at me.

When these qualities have helped me so much in life then wouldn't it be unfair to treat them as “weaknesses”? Don't I have enough reasons to be proud of them? Now, tell me why shouldn’t  I be obsessed with something which has assisted me in being a proprietor of so many qualities which made me strong and which made me what I am!!!

There is a famous quote from Marilyn Monroe - "Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world."

So, be proud of being a Woman: a Life - Giver!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Petting a pet: An amazing feeling!

I really wanted to have a pet from longgggg…  But was always reluctant as I have been through the terrible pain of losing them! They become a part of u, of your life. Infact, you build a strong relationship with them as strong as that sometimes, u start assuming them as your kids and then, one day they just leave you…!!! They just go away!!!

I mean the max age of the most common pets: dogs and cats is 12 years (14 in some very rare cases)! Imagine spending 12 years with somebody and then, it just leaves you. It’s appalling and immensely painful! I have already lost 2 dogs and so I know how exactly it feels. Even today I miss them! Even today I remember each and every moment spent with them. When they used to take my dress away and I used to run behind them for getting it released, when I used to sit next to them and cry after getting scolded and used to feel as if they were listening to me and were also crying with me! When I used to share all my thoughts with them and believe me, they used to hear and respond to everything… They had become my life, my best friends! And then one day, I lost both of them. It is still one of the most terrible pains I have ever exprienced in life.

My mother in law used to own a cat called Minni. It was an integral part of our family! Infact, my mom never considered it as an animal. It was like a fourth child to her. You will think I am bluffing if I tell you that my mom used to feed it with ├ęclairs, boiled eggs, and pop corns! It used to sleep alongside mom… and then, one day we faced the same ending again… It just left us! My mom became alone, she missed it terribly, I had never seen her crying so much! She dint had food for around 4 days till she became very weak and it became a necessity for her to have something…  She got into depression for days! And it was a pain for all of us to see her in that state.

Then, after that I decided no more pets for me and my family as well! I was in no mood to face the pain of loving somebody for more than 10 years and then getting separated from them forever!!

But I couldnt keep this promise! One fine day, a friend of ours (mine and my hubbys) gifted us a turtle. Initially, I was very excited but then again, my fear made me skeptical! I wasn’t ready for it… I mean one: Its like having a baby. A pet is a big responsibility, you just cant leave them alone… Two: I dint want to get attached to somebody and then experience its loss again!

But I felt somewhere that my mom and my hubby really wanted it! So, the first thing I did was to google the average life span of a turtle and it came out to be 50-80 years. I was super happy, I got a pet which could live with us forever! That one search made me take my decision immediately! I was ready to own a pet. 

But still, I wanted to know more about turtles so I researched rigorously about them. Wanted to know what they eat, how they live, are they safe, do they feel happy with humans, are they solitary or sociable! And almost all my questions were answered into something positive! So, then finally I agreed to bring it home. And believe me, it was so so so cute that I could have never imagined. After seeing it, the first thought that came to my mind was I would have really missed something if my decision would have been the other way round!

If I have to describe it, all I can say is it has 2 little eyes, and 2 tiny holes in the name of a nose… Though, couldn’t find its ears, searched a lot for them. I really wanted it to hear me, hear my voice! Its green in color and is as small as an index finger! Today is its 3rd day with us and we are already in love with it.
For the first 2 days, it was so quiet, calm and silent. We thought its not connecting with us, its not liking the environment. But it proved us wrong today morning. We took it out and kept it in a shoe box so that it could walk around… And we all left it there for 2 mins and when we were back, what we saw totally astonished us! It was not there in the box. We had almost got a heartattack as it is so small that it would have been almost impossible to find it. It was so difficult for us to believe that such a small, silent creature has actually jumped from such a huge box!!

We searched for it for around an hour and then finally got it in the pocket of a bag!!! My god, then I realized this being is not as calm as we thought it would be!

And when I came back from office today, and went to see it, you should have seen its excitement. It was almost jumping in the water, was almost dancing... I loved the view. It was taking out its head out of water again and again, as if to call me! I felt like it was waiting for me for the whole day! Animals can really love you, trust you without any expectation, without any hope. They just want little love and attention from you and that’s it, they will be yours forever.

I played with it for around an hour and just cherish those moments. I forgot all my worries, all my pains for that 1 hr! LoveD it…. And also, my mom is so fond of it. Even she loves to play with it... And it has a certain power to bring a smile on her face! And this makes me fall in love with this small little creature again and again!

BTW, its name is tutu! Welcome home, my tutu...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The chaos caused by an inefficient govt!

Its so sad and miserable to see our country witnessing such a weird turmoil and chaos! And the only one responsible for all this is our incapable and inefficient government! Corruption is something which every country has to face but there is surely a limit to everything, there has to be a line drawn. I mean if we look at the list of corruption cases year by year 2010 and 2011 have been the worst years with total no of 10 scams in 2010 and 5 scams in 2011 (which will definitely become more than 10 by the end of this year) This situation is so shameful and disgraceful, especially for our government. This is one government which has got everything wrong, everything: from corruption to intelligence failures to the way they deal with the situations!  Wish somebody should tell them that it’s a DEMOCRATIC INDIA and they should really understand what democracy means and they just cannot rule by being dictatorial.

They say that Absolute power corrupts absolutely! It is so true and congress has proved it again… By arresting Anna they have proved that they just do not care about anyone and anybody and thinks that they are ruling a dictatorial country! And on top of everything, the immature comments made by top leaders of congress acted like a cherry on the cake. I mean I and everyone would have been amazed by the senseless remarks which these idiots made on National Televison. They have just simply made a fool out of themselves… And the worst thing, the govt says that arresting anna was the decision of Delhi police. I mean what can anybody comment on this. It is the height of cowardness and shamefulness.
And on top of everything you should really listen to what one of the most senior advocate and father of union HRD and telecom minister Kapil sibal, Hira lal sibal have to say about all this incident. According to him, the nationwide campaigns in favour of Anna Hazare is a 'Madari show,' and yes, he thinks that public in India is very innocent and follow whoever plays with their emotions. Would love to tell him that Dear sir, This is what you think about Indians and that is why you, ur son and his govt never felt scared of doing any and every type of corruption but plz understand we are no more innocent, we know very well now who is right and who is wrong! Gone are the days when we Indians used to be innocent and used to bear everything! Now, its too much and high time for you all corrupt leaders to pay for your deeds.

They have proved that the safest way to protest in India is to burn shops, buses and to declare bandh instead of doing it in a silent way…

Imagine it took them 3 years to arrest Raja and dint even take 3 hours to arrest Anna who just wanted to protest via hunger strike. When a similar kind of thing happened in 70’s atleast Indira Gandhi had the power and boldness to control it but this ‘madam’ doesn’t even have guts to face it and boldness to control it… Sad to think that such kind of senseless and dumb woman is ruling our country!!!

While fighting for Independence, our leaders would have never imagined that Indians will be butchered by Indian leaders only. Today, by seeing Anna’s protest, I feel that Gandhi would have done it in the same way and so, people were so crazy about him! Anna has the same spark otherwise Indians are not that fools to wait outside Tihar jail for the whole night for him!

Guess, the only solution to all this is that all these oldies should get retired and should live happily thereafter on pension and leave the country on youth. Today’s youth know very well how to drive this nation! And yes the YOUTH means SANS Amul baba plz!

Anyways, hope God blesses our country and countrymen and just wish that these senseless people realize that they have to fight for an election again after 2 yrs, they have to beg for votes again in just 24 months!!! and so, work sensibly else you will block your chance of coming into power for years!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Life is a Roller Coaster!!!:P

Indeed it is! I mean sometimes life take us on the seventh sky from where everything looks so small and sometimes life throw us so deep that nothing is visible. This situation is more or less like a roller coaster or may be worse than that! huhhh???
Infact, I sometimes wonder why do some people pay to get a ride in a roller coaster! I mean when you are coming down from the topmost, it just get the shit out of you. Right?? It causes so much stress that you almost feel that you got a heart attack… And you actually pay for this stress!!! Obviously there would be some pleasure in it otherwise all the amusement parks would have got shut down till now, if it was all about pain and stress
Then why do we get paniced in the life’s rollercoaster and that too when it is free!!! Shouldn’t we enjoy it? Shouldn’t we get that same hidden pleasure even in these rides? We should. But we tend to get panic because these rides are uncalled for; we are actually not prepared for these rides. While on contrary on a real roller coaster, when its about to go up, we get prepared and when its about to go down, we close our eyes or do something else to ignore the stress and just to enjoy it.  And I guess this is the only difference between a real rather visible roller coaster and a life’s roller coaster. In the former one, we are aware of whats gonna happen next while in the later one we are not! But then isn’t later one better as its full of surprisesJ and who doesn't love surprises?
I am writing this post as even I am riding a hard and a fast roller coaster these days! Sometimes, I am Up in the sky and then, second moment I am down, where I can only see darkness, pain and I start feeling that I am a loser! Its not that I have not faced this situation before but just that this time its different in few aspects. Firstly, this time there is no time gap between the ups and downs. Its just so fast… Secondly, this time I feel as if I am riding more than one roller coaster simultaneously at one go. And all of them takes me up at the same time and brings me down at the same time which is so tiring and sometimes, frustrating!
Initially, I became extremely frustrated, upset and irritated by all this! But now, I have found out the formula to deal with it.
Its simple!
When you are Up, cherish the moments, enjoy them to the fullest but do not forget that this ride will also go down… so prepare yourself for it at the earliest
And when you are down, try to be happy and tell yourself that ‘A ride cannot remain down forever. It has to go up according to Nature’s law, trend (whatever word you use)’ so wait for that moment. Its something which is much more than just being hopeful. I mean here you have 100% certainty that this roller coaster will take you up at any cost. Sometimes, gradually: at a snail’s pace and at other times, so rapidly that this transition becomes difficult to believe…
So, this is what I am doing these days to deal with all the rides I am riding at one goJJJ

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Some things are meant to be kept safe alwaz!

I wrote the below post on 31st July but again, as usual couldn’t post it on the same day! Lazy meL So, posting it today:
Today’s my birthday! Its so weird to declare it… Right? Especially when you are grown up… But why is it so? Because when we are small, we do not get scared of anything! We give a damn to what people will think if we say or do any particular thing. When small, we just do whatever we want to, we just say whatever we wish to… Then why is it so that as we grow up, we start giving so much attention to people’s opinion; about what they will think, what they will say if I do so or say so!  We tend to change when we grow up. I mean yes, there are some changes which comes by maturity and which are extremely necessary… But there are few other changes which I guess are not important to inherit, I mean you can do or you can grow up well without bringing these changes in your life or in your personality! And infact, bringing or not bringing these changes, doesn’t affect us in any way! Yes, this implies with the fact that you shouldn’t bother about what people think about you…
Even today, I love to announce, shout and tell everybody around me that its my bday! Infact, I start shouting from a month prior to my bday’s month! Its not because of any particular reason but just because I used to do so when I was small and this is among those few things of my childhood which I have still kept somewhere safe inside me and within me. It is among those few things which I have not changed deliberately and infact I even dint let them change naturally and automatically as a part of growing up because in the process of growing up, we just forget about these changes which start happening automatically in our personality!
I guess, all of us should keep few things of our childhood always alive within us. Just don’t care what people say or think. You should feel good and proud of keeping these few things of childhood secured and then, believe me you will also stop thinking and bothering about people as I did! Its not easy to keep any materialistic thing from childhood with you, but its very easy to keep these emotional things safe which can always remind you of your old days! And these things also help you to keep that cute innocence of a child alive in you for always J so whats the harm?