Tuesday, October 9, 2018

#metoo

Writing after ages... could not stop myself from penning down something on #metoo movement!

This whole #metoo thing is certainly scary, actually the incidents are so terrifying! 

Growing up I used to think that it's only me who gets assaulted, I used to blame myself thinking maybe I do something wrong, maybe my behavior (unusually chirpy) push people to behave absurdly with me... I remember while walking on the road, my Mom used to say look down and walk but even then I used to get a spank on my bums (yes! Ask any girl in UP and they will tell you it's very very common). Why just bums, if you walk without covering your chest with your books, they would not even shy away from touching your breasts and sometimes, spanking them so badly that it would pain for hours! Does it sound weird? Not to us - the small town girls! And you want to hear more - we have seen people randomly coming and masturbating in front of our eyes at an age when we didn't even know what actually was happening... yes! 


And we used to go through this trauma almost every single day - without discussing it with anyone till the time we used to get used to all this - till it becomes a part of our life!

I am not even counting the incidents involving absurd and horrendous comments, songs, gestures, and all the non-touching assaults! They were like nothing to us - so common, so unusual! And I am not even talking about the abuse that we had to go through in childhood - that's another topic itself and will need another great movement for us to start addressing it... 


For a long long time, I kept mum... why? Because I thought it is only me being molested and assaulted... I never thought anyone would be able to relate to me, to my horrifying stories... 

No! Then I realized its almost every girl in my gang... and that is when we gradually started sharing our stories - the pain, the torture! And we became each other’s shoulders to lean on for sharing everything and even that was heaven for us! 

Then... for a long long time, I thought it was only us - small town girls

But again today - after years I realized that no - it's almost every girl who goes through this - the pain, the unnecessary trauma, the torture... 

There are so many scary accounts there, so many stories that are unfolding that are enough to send chills through your spine! 

But now, let’s face the reality - the other side. I am reading about so many stories on social media these days. Almost all platforms are filled with me too stories - some are really scary but then - there are women posting the screenshots of their chats with guys - where it’s just some flirting! Or men are giving some compliment or asking them out! This is for those women - really? Can u compare these stupid things with the real assault that women are facing? It's for them - Do NOT dilute this initiative, do not make it another thing that people will start making fun of... because of these accounts - people will not be able to understand the intensity of the real instances. Do not make it another failed attempt of women trying to voice out against society! Please do not dilute this whole thing! 

Also please do not make it an attempt of taking a revenge for your sour love stories! 

Do not label all men a monster... and do not let them label all women as dramebaaz... do not let them label feminism as some selfish initiative by women...

Stand with women who were actually harassed, who really had gone through the real pain! 

If someone is flirting with you on chat - block them! If you continue chatting - it means you are also the part of that crime (if that’s what it is!)... You have options of blocking people over the phone, but when a woman is sexually assaulted physically- it’s traumatic! It’s painful! You do not have many options to get escaped there! 

Do not dilute it... do not! I am not denying the fact that flirting can be daunting but can u compare it with rape? Or with someone touching your body parts without your permission? No... right? 

Let us all - women take this initiative forward and help the women who have ‘really’ been harassed ... let us fight the society against all odds - only we together can do it! Let us not miss out on it this time... yet again!

x