Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Meaningless things in this meaningful world!!

Yesterday evening my mood was really off and I was completely pissed off due to some office things, and also because i was missing my gang, my friends! I really dint felt like going back home so I decided to stop at tankband (its a lake in hyd) on the way. I never liked that place much but there was no other option. So, I thought will stand there alone for sometime, will relax myself and then will go home. Because if I would have gone back home with my mood off, I wouldnt have been able to hide it from my mom and then she would have become too much worried! Obviously there are things which are so difficult to explain to moms and for moms to understand! And this is among those things.  How to tell her that this stress is something we have to bear everyday whether we like it or not and it’s a part and reality of our lives!

Anyways, I have been living in this city from last 5 years, have been seeing this same tankbund lake for these whole 5 years but had never ever observed how beautiful it is! Infact I used to hate the stink, the green algae and many other things about it. Never ever thought that it could be so amazing… Yesterday for the first time I realized this and immediately fell in love with it! It was calm, quiet! Off course not in literal terms as there is a main road just next to Tankbund and it is one of the busiest roads in Hyderabad.  
But still I felt a sort of serenity, calmness, a stillness and a kind of self composure there, with a stretched bed of water in front of my eyes and a busy road full of cars behind me! It was so awesome that I immediately felt relaxed in just 10 mins, with that cold breeze blowing away my hair, with that lovely view. I could see the dim lights in the buildings on the other side of tankbund. I felt like they all were making some abstract image or some alphabet. It was a kind of lights puzzle in front of me. I was trying to figure out some meaningful word out of those lights! Was trying to join the lights in my mind to make something meaningful, in the same way as used to do with the stars when I was small! I still remember making a spoon, a teddy bear, ‘A’ alphabet and God knows how many things with stars! Same thing I was doing with this lights puzzle. Was trying to figure out a significant thing out of those dim lights. But then realized that in this meaningful world, where everything (including relationships) and everybody exists for some or the other meaning, there are few things which are meaningless and you should just leave them like that! Giving meaning to those things can really distort them completely! That lights puzzle in front of my eyes was one of those meaning less things which had absolutely no meaning, no significance, nothing! But still I loved it, still my eyes loved to play with it! So I stopped finding out any meaningful thing in that and accepted it as it was: meaningless! My eyes were admiring the view of it and that was enough for me:)
I loved standing there, just loved it… Though there was so much noise behind me of the passing by vehicles. Guess there was not a single second when there was no noise but believe me, after few mins I just couldn’t hear anything apart from the sound of water. It was like as if my ears had installed a filter to block all the noise going inside them! My eyes just couldn’t see anything apart from the small tiny waves and the unsolved light puzzle:) It was like as if my eyes had narrowed down its binocular vision and had drawn a boundary around the area which it wanted to cover! And everything beyond that boundary became invisible to me!
The waves: they were so small and looked so tiny in front of the ocean waves. The waves in the tankbund looked like babies of the ocean waves. I smiled seeing them. They were so cute and alluring like a small baby. I felt like they were teasing me, they were chatting with me, they were trying to get my attention like small babies do. I got totally and completely engrossed in that moment.
Then my mind intervened as usual. It wanted to know that why can’t I live like this forever. Live with only smiling, without any stress, any pain, any tensions! I had no answer to it. What could I say: No I can’t because I do not have that option or because life is not meant to be calm, it has to be full of ups and downs because these ups and downs teach us so many things in life and this is what life is all about! Without them life would become boring, monotonous!
I stopped thinking. Thinking completely. I wanted to be happy, relaxed without any thoughts, without anyone! I kept on staring the cutie small baby waves and solving my lights puzzle till I realized that it was too late. It was around 8 and tankband was not a good place for a lady to stand alone because people start approaching you. Don’t know why a ‘normal’ lady, after 8 can’t stands alone at any place? Its weird but then it’s a fact so I decided to move on from there biding a bye and thanking all: the tankbund, the unsolved puzzle, to my cutipie waves, to the cold breeze! They made my day:) and promised them that I will be back, very soon!
I came back home relaxed and happy. Thanks to my decision of stopping at tankband…
Try to do something like this and then see how awesome and relaxed you will feel!

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