Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Its not over yet!!!

Ahhhhh… All the troubles seem like never ending for me this year! I am seriously waiting for this year to end as now, I feel that my limit to deal with all this is almost coming to a saturation point!

I believe myself to be a very optimistic person; always believe that nothing in this world has the power to bring me down! But however sometimes I feel I am tired of fighting with all the politics, nonsense and the cons of working in the corporate world!

I have faced enormous amount of nonsense in my last company despite giving my 100% to work in terms of commitment and dedication. But then one day I decided not to take it any more and moved on! Then, I joined another organization with a new hope that now I could work without being a victim to the politics. Yes, I certainly managed to keep a considerable distance with all the crap happening in office. I changed my approach here, used to come to office, finish my work and then leave for home. Nothing else!

I used to be a very happy go lucky person in my previous company but then, here (in my new organisation) I never crossed my limits! Always behaved like an introvert, though it is completely against my very nature! I am somebody to whom quietly sitting at one place for more than an hour can be a very harsh punishment! You know, what used to the toughest part for me during exams? It was to sit quietly for 3 hours at one place. Sometimes, I used to just leave the hall after 2 hours or so because it was just not in my nature to sit calm and quiet

But here I tried to control myself and have always behaved like an introvert, I really don’t know why…  May be I somewhere got to feel from my previous organization’s experience that being loud, being what you are, being an extrovert simply doesn’t work while working for a MNC. You have to show as if you are a very calm person then only people believe that you are professional and mature. What a hypocrisy!!! This change in my outlook is a gift to me from my previous company!

But even after doing all the possible things to end my troubles, I am unable to control them! In this new company, there are new problems, new issues and new things to deal with like proving myself from the scratch again, like gelling with a new batch of different kind of people, dealing with the layoff trauma and witnessing that stressful environment when layoffs are about to happen, giving an interview all over again and that too, for proving that I am worth it for the current job! Everyone would have had the experience of giving an interview for a new job, but now I can proudly say that I even had a lifetime experience of giving an interview to save my existing job! Woaaaa…. I am surely gonna add this achievement to my resume:P

I am certainly not scared about the job. I can sit at home till whatever time I wish to! And this is one of the fabulous privileges which comes automatically to you if you are a woman! I am just little upset by all the bad phases which I have been going through since long and that too, because of other people…

Sometimes, I just want to break free, free from all this crap… I feel like going to some place where there are no idiotic people to make your life hell, where there is only goodness, where I can be what I am, where I dont have to fight everyday for my existence, where I dont have to prove myself again and again!

But then as they popularly say, In this big wide world: you have to breathe here, you have to smile here, you have to cry here, you have to live here and you have to die here! 

And so I have to keep myself telling and reminding that its not over yet because winter’s brutal cold always gets followed by the abundance of summer's soothing heat, the night: however dark, is followed by the bright dawn!
 
Because everything in this world works in a cycle! Everything and every situation changes. From worse to better. Better to relapse again! Yes, and that’s the protocol…


And also, I am a very strong believer of one thing that whatever happens, happens for a reason! The flowers that get withered and then, fall actually fall to carpet the ground...

And so, when this situation is not everlasting, then why should I get distressed! I know I will be able to come out of all this crap soon… I know i will deal with it bravely! I know that and this makes me smile, makes me confident! I know I will be the winner at last…  

A popular hindi movie dialogue goes: "Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!"

So, keep smiling alwazJ

2 comments:

  1. It's the darkest....ALWAYS just before dawn! I know you're a fighter my friend - just fight this 'battle'....we have wars to win!!
    - Your friend.

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