Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The first man I ever loved

From last 2 days, don’t know why but I am missing my dad like anything!

It goes without saying that he was the first man I ever loved!! He has been an epitome of perfection to me. Somebody who gave me his unconditional love and support whenever and wherever required!

I belong to a very small place called Saharanpur and society there is still in mid 19’s. Yes, it is! Its conventional and conservative. But despite of being a part of such a society, my dad gave me the freedom and independence which I needed! I love him for that.

If I have to describe our relationship, then I would say that it is strange but still, it is beautiful! He made me strong in his own way. He taught me how to face the world in his own way. He gave me a sense of security. He made me independent. His ways were definitely different but they carried an assurance of success. Whatever I am today, I completely owe it to him. I can’t thank God for giving me such a strong man as a father!

He is my biggest appreciator and also, my worst critic! And when he criticize me for something, I become stubborn to do the same thing in a much better way and turn my dad's criticism to appreciation. And thus, he nurtured a natural urge within me to win!

There were days when whatever I used to do was to make my Dad feel proud and even today, it is the same. When I achieve anything, my dad is the first person on earth to learn about the thing. When I am happy for something, he is the first person to know the reason of my happiness.

I love you Dad! Just want to make you proud!

muuuaaahhhhh...

Thursday, June 21, 2012

The terrible weeks!

Its been 2 weeks since I wrote something! Feeling so terrible and guilty...

But yes, I have my own valid reasons for not able to do so:( Last 2 weeks were hectic would be an understatement! Seriously, they were actually weird. So much had happened.

The worst of all incidents was when one of my very good friends who was going to get married soon, got married to someone else which came like a shock to all of us. Anyways, I am nobody to judge or say about any body's decisions but I am made to rethink on the definition of friendship! I am somebody who really and strongly believe in this one word called friendship! I always stand by the view that what a friend can do for you, nobody on this earth is capable of doing that! You just feel free with them, totally careless! You hang around with them, you have fun with them, they make you smile, you share each and every part of your life with them, they give you this endless happiness which nobody can give you. You just trust them. But from last week's incident, I have started doubting this point of view of mine. I mean how is it possible that I just could not understand what was going on within the person who was so close to me, who was my best friend! How was that one person able to hide so much from me!

Anyways, guess I am going to take my own time to get over it.

Second, I lost one of my pet turtles! Oh that was something so so unbearable. I never ever wanted to lose it. I have no idea what went wrong. I had it since last one year. I always tried my best to love and give it the best care. Its highly impossible for me to understand. I am in terrible pain because of it. I just loved it! Its name was tutu... and I miss it.

Third, my husband is out of town for 14 days. Gosh, loneliness can really turn you mad. No, am serious. It can! I am almost on a stage of begging him to come back and its just been 1 week, there is one more week to go!!!!

Gosh, sometimes you just feel that nothing is going on the right track!why, why, why!!!!

I am just trying to collate all my optimistism and focus it to make me strong and make me smile! Thank God I have some amazing people in my office and in my office bus!!! They just don't let me think about anything sad...:)

Keep smilingggggggg alwazzzzzzzzz...

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Is there a thing called Depression?? If yes, then kick it off!!!

I don’t know why I am writing this! But I really want to write about it for the sake of everyone out there who tends to get into depression! I have been a victim of it for a while last year and so, I am very much aware of how it can gradually lead you to destruction, in terms of physical and mental health (and God knows what all!) I know exactly how it can devastate your zeal to live if left unnoticed and untreated. Believe me guys.  Before getting into this terrible phase, I never used to understand the reason of people committing suicide. I used to criticize them profoundly. But after experiencing this sort of depression myself, I know what exactly it feels like; I now can understand the state of people who commit suicide. Though obviously I do not defend this act as I believe it is the most cowardly thing one can pursue

But, my only point is once you realize that something is wrong, you should try to cure it rather than leaving it unattended. But we Indians do not have the tendency to take anything seriously till it grips us completely into its claws! Only then, we think of doctors, we think of taking some precautions. Infact depression is among those things of which we all feel ashamed of to confess! We think, if we will confess that we are going through depression, others might think that something is wrong with us, something is abnormal! Though people concluding that, might themselves be under depression. Plz remove this notion from your mind. Depression is a very common thing in today’s busy mad world! Anything on this earth can lead to it specially the bad and unhealthy office life (including the stress and the politics)! I got into it because of the amount of stress I used to make myself go through while at work. Well, here I will take opportunity to thank my husband who stood next to me in that phase!
I will just mention few things which helped me to get rid of this horrible mental state called depression!!! 
Before reaching to the points, I just want to mention one thing that depression is just and just a way of thinking when you go through an upsetting phase. Depression is an emotional disorder, and nothing to be ashamed of.  Yes, nothing to be ashamed of and almost all of us go through it at one or the other stage of life. The problem with depression is that it makes you feel like you are left with no energy, as if the world around you has finished, as if you are just left with nobody around you! So, once you start feeling upset, depressed, distressed, suffered, miserable or unhappy, once you start feeling that your world had come to an end, its time to start doing those few things which makes you happy, which makes you smile else the above mentioned terrible feelings will take you to the doom!
Anyways, below are few things which I did and I do whenever I get surrounded by this terrible bug:
·         Always be conscious of negative thoughts. As soon as they attack your mind, you should be alarmed and start doing something else, which can be anything like walking, talking, watching TV, listening music, bathing, writing something. The best way is to skip or ignore these forbidden thoughts
·         Know what you like doing. And do that frequently. It can be painting, cooking, writing, reading, going for a spa etc
·         Eat a chocolate. It definitely makes you feel happy!
·         Keep yourself fit, as being too fat or too thin or not looking good is one of the major reasons of the depression in ladies. Look at yourself in the mirror and appreciate the good things about yourself. Guys, this works!!
·         Dance, Dance and Dance! I love to dance. And it is surely the biggest depression buster for me! And Dancing doesn’t mean you have to be really good at that. You can just put a song and jump around with your arms in the air. You will love yourself for that!
·         Take out time for yourself. Be alone, go for a walk, for a bubble bath, spa, ayurvedic massage or anything!
·         Do not stay in closed doors and windows when you feel down. Grab something to drink and sit in your balcony.
·         Surround yourself with people who like you, love you and respect you. Self-esteem always ebbs away around people who you're not comfortable with. And plz make sure to maintain a distance with such people who pull your leg and try to make you feel down and inferior. They ought to be kicked out of not only from your life but also, from your thoughts:D
·         Love yourself: the most important things guys! Love yourself. Make yourself believe that you are the best and nobody can be like you.
·         Now my fav point: Wear something bright like yellow, dark blue, orange, green, and which is something you always wanted to wear: hot-pants, a skirt, a jump suit anything, anything in which you feel great. Try a new hair style gals. Don’t bother about what people will say. They are there to give comments so ignore them! They are just jealous and so, they deserve to be ignored
·         And yes, you definitely need to have somebody special in your life with whom you should be able to share anything. He/ she can be your spouse, one of your friends, any of your parent, your colleague, your teacher, your siblings, anybody! Have somebody in your life on whom you can rely on anytime and for anything in life! Guys, this makes a difference. Call him or her and fill in on everything that's going on in your life.
·         Smile, laugh! Laugh hard… don’t shy while laughing! Let people think what they want to. It’s their problem and not yours so laugh!
·         Watch humorous movies, read hilarious novels!
·         Go shopping! It makes you so happy and glad.
·         And the mantra: Do not care about what people say or think about you. Do what you want and what makes you happy!

Keep smiling alwazzzz…!