The trauma of I, me, mine, my, I did, I am, I will, I have, I own, I... I... I !!!

 “He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.”
― Charles Martin, Chasing Fireflies: A Novel of Discovery

"You know my husband was in US last month and he got me dozens of branded perfumes, lipsticks, eye shadows"

"This dress of mine is from London. A friend of mine gifted it"

" I visit 'abc' orphanage every month. Last time I went there I donated few toys and dresses to the kids"

"You know, we are going to Europe for this vacation! We only plan our trips abroad. Whats there in spending your vacation in India?"

And you hear such tales of torturous bragging every day, from people who are just so busy in boasting and living a pretentious life that their senses of appreciating the real life just gets succumbed to a wretched and pitiable death! And BTW, they had mastered this art to such an extent that they don't need to be intrigued at all.

I, fortunately or unfortunately had a chance to meet and get acquainted with lot of people from this breed.

Now, first let me give you an explanation of the words that I just mentioned in last sentence: fortunately or unfortunately. Fortunately because these people really educate you, obviously inadvertently and unconsciously, about what one should never become in life. They enlighten you about things and stuff that one should abstain from flooding others with. They really facilitate you with things that will save you from making a fool out of yourself in public! But this much wisdom and knowledge doesn't come easy boy!

And thats why I used the word unfortunately: well, its not just tough and irritating, but its painful, really painful to sit with these people and hear them bragging for hours.

I feel that this self bragging and boasting is some kind of a disease. You know, one of the traits of people suffering from it is they are very kind! Yes, you know why? Because they strongly believe in not giving a chance to anyone around them of bearing the pain of opening their mouth. And they adhere to their belief! All you need to do is putting your ears on attention! Oppss... Sorry, wrong word! Not attention. Putting your ears on fire. Your ears would scream, shout, beg, implore you to just take them away and save them from the excruciating ache of bearing such conversation for hours! But you cant. Curtsey, dear... curtsey!

But now, I have (Ok let me not take the credit), rather my poor brain has find out a solution to save me from such people. I, remain present there physically but my brain packs and sends away my thoughts somewhere to roam around. Its a good and free time, they get to relax!

Why don't people belonging to this ruthless and cruel species, realize that others, who are bound to listen to them feel bored, annoyed at times. They get filled with an awful indignation. And these feelings goes to an extent that people just want to get vanish from that place instantly. Its tremendously hard to tolerate such talks. Why? Because dear God, the endurance and patience levels required to imbibe all the self bragging that these guys do, is really tough to be found in ordinary people. The fallacies that their talks are full off, makes the environment around stink. Yes, it does.

“Perhaps the less we have, the more we are required to brag.”

― John Steinbeck, East of Eden 

BTW, there are categories of these people:

Few loves to brag about the branded and high quality stuff that they use! (Who cares!!!)They are harmless. They will just torture you by showing their tags!

Few people belong to non verbal bragging! This species generally comprises of women. They cant breathe if they dont change their FB pic atleast 4 times a day. They post each and every activity of the day on all the possible platforms! And it is always full of "I's". They can be a killer dude!

Then comes the irritating ones who just have to brag about the places they have visited and seen. BTW, they would never ever talk about their trips in the country. Its insulting to them! The trips, holidays have to be outside India!!! They are not killers, but they are super irksome and exasperating! Its tough to tolerate them. Really tough.

Then there are stupid ones who just brag about their relatives, the kind of great family he/she belongs to and blah blah. For them, I just have one word: Brainless, thats what they are. Ignore them!

Few take the pleasure in demonstrating their greatness, like the one mentioned in my orphanage example above. This is the most dangerous species of all. They put and show off their kindheartedness everywhere, every damn place!!! They will brag about it in public, they will put it on FB, on twitter and where ever possible! What do you want to show guys???  If you are visiting an orphanage, you are donating something there, why the hell do you have to put it on FB? Does it make any sense?? People who really have intention to do something good to others, never ever tell and brag about it. They do it in quiet!!!Thats called real and elegant way of caring about others and willing to do something genuinely.

Apart from the ones mentioned above, there are also people who show off their fake interest in things that they just have no idea of! Like, there are people (specially women), I know who pretend to be a sports lovers and why? Just to prove themselves smart in a group of few men! There are genuine sports lovers as well, no doubt.  But you can easily differentiate them from the pretentious ones . God, why the hell do you have to fake your interests. If you dont like something, you dont! Accept it...  and That will really make people around you respect you rather than talking senseless about something you have no idea about.

You know, all of them have one thing in common:  They are obsessed with showing off something or the other they don't have or something that they can't afford to own or something that they possessed with a lot of struggle and difficulty. They would just harangue you with tirade of their stories without even caring if you care to listen or not

I was once sitting with a group of girls and believe me, I was bored and annoyed to death! All they spoke about for more than an hour was the brand of perfumes, lipsticks, eyeshadow, dresses they use and they own! And yes, from which country they got it from. Its a very down market thing to wear anything "Indian made" for such ladies! I mean I am not saying I don't like talking about these things but please I cant do that all the time!

Whats wrong with such kind of people? Are they that short of sensible topics to discuss? Why do everyone want to live and want to get applauded for these superficial materialistic things?

You know its really not bad to tell people about your achievements. No! But only when it is done in a subtle way. Infact it is appreciating. But how on earth, could bragging about all the branded worldly things that you own, be valued? Why and how can it be welcomed? Its irritating, its nauseating, its annoying! And what greatness do one feel by showing off! I feel pity on these people who live a pretentious life! I guess, all they do and think for the whole day is about what and how to tell people about the new stuff that they bought, the latest charity they did and worst of all in case there is nothing excited happened, all they do is mull over their heads in building up and creating a new story! What a pity and gloomy life these people live! They miss out all the real and beautiful things around them in this erroneous ambush! They are so busy with their pretentious life, they just forget about the true world!

Do you know all this self bragging all the time, makes you a very repulsive person. May be its just wired inside few people but try to get out of this fatal  trap. It turns you into a very boring, disgusting, filthy person. People around you starts ignoring you, they begin to run away from you and for all you know, they would be making fun of you behind your back.

So, next time you brag, please think about the listener. If you can't stop torturing their ears, atleast give them some time to trouble their mouths so that their ears can relax and be refreshed for another round from you!

Keep smiling!

“When heard someone's boasting, I could smell shit of bull from afar.”
― Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity