Changes: Do you remember the old you?

“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.”
― George E. Woodberry

Have you ever felt amazed of the pace at which life changes? And with it, changes you, changes your feelings, your needs, your desires, your hobbies, your thoughts, your opinions, your everything.

I feel astonished at the fact that this process of changing takes place with a very fine balance of swiftness and subtlety. Yes, the change is rapid but then, its also gradual enough not to alarm you

And in this whole 'change' process, there is also a fine balance of what changes and what not. Am I am sounding confusing? Ok, let me put it this way.... Its still you with the same body, same heart, same blood, same mind, same soul, same structure, same hardware. Everything remains the same but still everything changes. How different were you when you were young? I guess its the attributes, that changes, its the core that define you, changes. While young you are structured with different qualities and as you grow up, many other qualities keep on adding to your personality and which compels you to shed few of your existing ones. And this process of adding and subtracting things from your personality brings the change that I am talking about.

Anyways, the question that I really want stress on here is do you ever miss that reckless, careless, brazen, imprudent, audacious self. These are the qualities that are generally there in you when you are young. And they are the first ones that gets gradually subtracted from you. Now, another thing that's banging in my head is why not negative traits gets subtracted like jealousy, selfishness etc. On the other hand, they seems to get increased with the age! Now, thats another topic of discussion. Guess, I will write about it in my next post.

I was just chewing over my brain the other day, thinking how many of us still possess at least few qualities from our childhood. How many of us still attempt doing things, that we used to love doing at some point of the time in the past. Once we get under this tiring and brutal grinder of day today life, we start getting crushed and crumbled viciously, and the excruciating pain of getting pulverized makes us forget everything: all our passions, our hobbies, every damn thing we adored, we loved. All you do after getting trapped in this grinder is kill yourself without any explanation or even, without any happiness. And this brings in the change I am talking about.

Let's not talk so vaguely. Let me take an example. While young, everybody without exception loves to experiment with new things. I mean, while young doing something new, had a weird attraction, an enticing charm, an alluring magic, a bizarre appeal, a fatal temptation. You never used to get scared of anything, you never used to feel intimidated by attempting something new and even, the dangerous ones. There was a wildness, a passion, a curiosity then, that starts getting faded with time. Why? Its the same you even now. Then, why do "something new" fails to charm you, attract you now? Perhaps, because now, you always carry this strange thing with you, that prohibits you from doing anything which would give you happiness and that's fear: fear of falling, fear of getting failed. And as I mentioned above, addition of fear, automatically subtract many other precious qualities from your personality

 But Life was surely fun without fears. No?

While young, dint you try jumping in a river and swim? Or at least that thought would have surely crossed your mind while passing through a stream. Now, estimation of the depth of the river is the first thing that crosses your mind and probably, next thought would be is the depth enough to get you drowned? Your mind automatically starts calculating the probability of risks and dangers.

While young, dint you ever try taking a different route while on the way back from school, just for the heck of exploring a new way? Now, you can't even think of doing that. Why? Dude, you are scared of getting late to work or home. Simple!

While young, dint you try to raid into a house that people said was haunted? You did, even after having an immense fear of ghosts. Now, would you do that? No, even after knowing that those ghost stories were a bogus! Even then you wouldn't have the courage to try something new

While young, dint you learn the bicycle by yourself, without any fears of falling. And even if you fell down, you would again stand up, rub the dust off from your knees, wouldn't even notice the blood and try again without giving a damn to the pain. Would you try that now?

Why are we scared now? What are we scared of? Of failures? Of embarrassment?

What is it that prevents us, force us not to attempt new things?

Just think how many years it had been since you tried something new on your own. With age, this frequency keeps on going down because our fears keeps on increasing. They are both inversely proportional.  And with the rate of trying new things going down, even our learning goes down. Now, they are directly proportional. If you will not try anything, how the damn will you learn?

“The more I try the more I am scorned”
― Novala Takemoto, Missin' (Novel)

You would keep on sloshing over the same boring stuff every day, every moment! And finally, your life
would turn into a boring mundane drama, where you would have no exit, no entertainment and even no spectators. 

“He tries to find the exit from himself but there is no door.”
― Dejan Stojanovic

Just think at this moment, if you had no fears, what is that one thing that you would have been doing or atleast would have been wanting to do.

Just try to remember that one last time, when you tried something new, something for the first time...

Change is good... but when it changes your true self, its definitely not worth it