Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Why are we, women so hard on each other???

So I know this one post is going to raise a lot of eyebrows. Primarily because this post is really not expected from a feminist like me! Each and every soul who's acquainted to me, is very well aware of the fact that one of my traits is of being an obsessive feminist.

Anyways, this post has originated from few experiences that my friends, my sisters and yes, me too have faced. It will surely sound normal to most of you but it is painful for the person who goes through it. Also, I really don't want to generalize anything or I really do not mean to criticize anybody. The things mentioned in this post are entirely on the basis of my personal and my friend's experiences

Let me begin with something that one of my siblings have to face daily because of her height. She is 5.9 ft.. I know she is very tall from Indian standards! But this rather than being a reason for her to be proud of, is a reason for her embarrassment! And you know what leads to embarrassment? Its the the comments passed by her female friends and her roommates. They always make her feel bad about her height, make her feel like an outlier! She is teased almost daily because of her height!

Similar kind of situation is faced by a friend of mine who's little chubby and healthy! I would definitely restrain myself from using the word "fat" here... Because, that's certainly not the right word

And that's not all. The ultimate case is of one of my friend who's extremely good looking! Even she has to face her female colleague's comments. Now, I have no idea what results in those comments, envy probably!! But isn't that a height of weirdness?

Even men doesn't bother to notice or comment that much that the women around notices other women and then, pass judgments, makes them feel bad and pass comments on different attributes of them. We just leave no space for other women to breathe. Why are we women so hard on each other?

You would be thinking absurd while reading this post. I being a woman is writing all this about other women. Why not? When I can write and present my views on the greatness and the amazing qualities of women then why not write about the other side? BTW, I would again repeat that I am not at all generalizing anything but yes, these are few things that are highly prevalent in few women, probably because these women chose to leave these negative characteristics in their behavior unchecked and unobserved. I guess, a woman needs to deal with these negative qualities very consciously and keep them under check for sometime. And then only you can get rid of them. If you don't try consciously to lessen the involvement of these qualities in your behavior, they start defining you as a person which is obviously not very appreciating and you end up being a collaboration of a mixed personality. These negative qualities just overpower the beautiful and amazing qualities that God has blessed us, the women with.

Anyways, coming back to the point, the most dominating trait in all these characteristics is that we women are just ready to criticize other women! Seeing a fat women, most of the women around would think "OMG! How fat she is?"... If a women is not dressed properly, we women would think, "Why couldn't she wear anything better" and blah blah. We are just ready to criticize other women anytime and every time! I am sure men would not even observe women as much as we women do! Why??

The second really horrible trait is the jealousy and worst of all, the thing that few of the women are just unable to hide it! I have literally seen women making weird faces seeing a beautiful or a sexy woman! The chances of appreciating and complementing other women on their beauty is a far off distant dream. Why do some women behave so absurdly? In fact, a girl in a short skirt makes other women tag her with  a ‘Slut!’ label!. A pretty woman’s promotion makes other women wonder what she had done with her boss, to get the job. We are always ready to judge other women! Why???

One of the most irritating attribute of few women is their love towards gossip. Its a well established and a well renowned fact that women love to gossip. There is no harm in gossiping but then, gossiping about each and everything on this planet is weird. And yes, 99% of the gossip that women do, revolves around other women! I have seen women gossiping about other women's personal life too,cooking up stories about them. For the ladies who comes under this category: If a women becomes too famous or if there are men who are just going gaga over a lady, doesn't mean you start bitching about that poor soul. Just because you can't afford to get male following! I am just unable to understand the pleasure that these women derive in gossiping about other women. BTW, the word here shouldn't be gossiping, it should be bitching

Before writing about the next irritating trait, let me breathe and say, OMG! This category is the most annoying one! When women turn into being moral police on other women.  They just love to pass comments or give their advice to women around. Why? Because a woman can afford to wear a short skirt and you can't doesn't mean you start giving her lectures on not wearing one! Just because a woman have guts to accept whom she has a crush on, doesn't mean you start advising them about what to talk and how to talk in public. Ladies, please grow up and stop playing the role of a moral police!!!

Actually before pointing out fingers at other women, just ask one question to yourself, Am I perfect? Think... Are you?? If you are, then you at least earned some amount of freedom to do the things mentioned above. But if you know, you are not perfect then stop judging other women. Let them breath and let them live!

Always remember:

“Who are you to judge the life I live?
... I know I'm not perfect
- and I don't live to be...
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure you hands are clean!” 
                                            ― Bob Marley

Ladies, let us give space to each other! If we can't respect each other's individuality, how dare we demand for the same from men???

And so, just relax, chill and let others do whatever they want! Be happy and let others be happy:)

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