Confessions of a shopaholic

Its so easy for this world to just declare "Stop shopping!" "Its wastage of money" and blah blah blah... Its so easy for them to give their opinions!! But I say, put yourself in my shoes and then, probably you will understand... Anyways, my plight is too abstruse for anyone!

Ask me who is totally addicted to shopping!!! Every month I promise myself that this is gonna be the last month for me to shop, no more shopping, I rebuke myself every month!!! Yes, that's a job that I do religiously! But the problem is I am just not able to adhere to it. Now the big question is Why? You really wanna know? Well, then here it is:

That's because I am addicted. Addicted to the most incredible thing in the world that they call shopping, but for me the word is life and blood!!! The moment my salary is credited into my account, the moment my phone beeps with my salary credited msg, my mind stops working, my mind stops listening to me. Yes, there is some strange connotation between my salary's msg and my mind. It forget all the promises, it just dump all the pledges to some corner of the brain from where it is difficult for me to see them! All it does is, starts thinking about the stuff that I had planned last month to buy but couldn't because I was broken till then. Poor me *sob sob*

And so, first thing I do after my salary is credited, I go online, and shop, shop everything, every damn thing I like!!! I don't care if I need that stuff, I buy every random thing from almost every online site. I just shop till I drop, till my eyes start stinging by staring into my lappy's screen and yes, till i feel contented, i feel satisfied... Not for the month... for the day!!! Because I again have this weird urge to shop next day, that uncontrollable desire that begs me to shop, that cries and plead me to shop... And so, I again shop and this chain continues till I get broken off for the month... Till there is nothing left in my account and then, the whole month is spent in misery:(

And BTW, this breaking off thing doesn't happen in the last week of the month... By the time first week ends, I am already broken!! I am already bankrupt and I am already done with all my money. Now the question is what do I do for the rest of the month??? Nothing... just go to these online shopping sites, stare at the stuff that I really really die to own and promise myself to buy it next month!!! This promise is not made to be broken, this promise is not made to be dumped!

I am smitten by shopping. I am obsessive about it! When I pass through all the malls and the shops, my eyes are like stuck on the mannequins... yes, even while driving!!! I cant stop myself... I have no control on my eyes. They just turn and start staring at those amazing luring enticing attires on those mannequins that can't even understand their worth, that cant even appreciate their beauty, that cant even feel the softness of their fabric!!! And I feel as if they are calling me, calling me to try those dresses! to try them, to have them, to possess them and to own them!! What's going on in your mind??? Lemme guess, that I am kidding? No dude I am not! I am damn serious... Ok, so now you think I am crazy... Ahhhhh... Crazy be it!!! But that's how I feel!!!

Shopping is one of the best feelings in the world!!! That amazing happiness that you get when you buy something, that wonderful pleasure that you drive when you own something is just indescribable!! The moment a shopping packet arrives, my heart just gets filled with joy, with ecstasy. And for the whole day I wait to reach home and to open it, to touch and feel the stuff I got!! And that feeling is just out of the world!!!

Though I am packrat of shoes and cloths, still I always want more, more of them... I always feel like I am short of something or the other... Even after shopping the whole world, I feel damn I dint buy anything this month and my money is gone, its finished, it got vanished somehow!!!Strange!! Attimes, I wonder if its my bank that steals my money *grrrrrr* or may be my money has wings, it just fliesssss *sob sob sob*... It did not even get me a chance to buy those vero moda pants, that mango dress, those amazing shoes, those glittering pumps, that awesome neck piece!

But then the moment I open my closet, I know where my money flew!! It just took some other form in my closet!! Once I have nothing left, its miserable, its horrible, coz I am just unable to buy what I want to, actually what I need. Yes, I have a red trouser, but does that mean I don't need a green one, a yellow one, or a purple one?? I have a white top, does that mean I don't need another white! I do have a collection of heels but I still need heels in brown, in pink, in blue... errrrrrrrrrrr.... Yes, this all is a need and not a want....

Anyways, so when I am broken by the second week of every month, I stop shopping, not by choice but because I am compelled to! Do my wallet have a hole? I need to check... But whatever, in those days of misery I become responsible:) I feel matured! Yes, seriously, that's coz that's the time when I understand the importance of money and so, I make a promise to myself not to ever waste my money again. But that's a promise made to be broken and that's the irony. But atleast I feel responsible for few days in a months:P

I wonder if that song Addicted from Enrique is written for me and my addiction for shopping:

"Maybe I'm addicted, 

I'm out of control,

but you're the drug

that keeps me from dying. 

Maybe I'm a liar,

but all I really know is

you're the only reason I'm trying..."

P.S. the word "You" in the above lines, is "life and blood" that they call "shopping"